The Lonesome Kicker-Adam Sandler

[00:17.13]Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker [00:24.33]Extra points, field goals at your service [00:31.76]One might think it comes with glory [00:38.94]You might think different after you listen to my story [00:47.04]My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask [00:54.16]What it possibly could protect, I do not know [01:01.96]The other guys on the team [01:03.83]Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads [01:09.63]And also like to hide the special shoe [01:12.57]I need to kick in the snow [01:17.49]People think it's so easy [01:19.93]To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line [01:24.74]They forget to add seven yards for the snap [01:27.67]And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back [01:32.22]In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line [01:36.28]But some of the players were running into them [01:37.77]And getting hurt [01:39.46]So screw the kicker [01:42.45]Who cares about the kicker? [01:47.07]But I kick that ball [01:48.82]And I pray it goes straight [01:50.94]If it does [01:52.19]The coach says "Good job, number 8" [01:54.81]He doesn't even know my name is [01:56.88]Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr. [02:01.93]But that's the life I live [02:05.24]The Lonesome Kicker [02:14.67]Kickoffs can be so very scary [02:21.54]Especially, if the returner breaks on through [02:29.09]And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him [02:36.58]I don't want to get hurt [02:38.51]So I pretend to tie my shoe [02:44.52]Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches [02:51.76]"Go back where you came from!" [02:53.76]Scream 70,000 fans [02:58.87]Well, I know I could win their love back [03:02.05]By catching a winning touch-down [03:06.74]But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands [03:14.00]And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close [03:17.81]'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes [03:21.74]As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood [03:25.61]And the splinters go deep in my thighs [03:28.98]And the towel boy snickers as he walks by [03:32.35]The Lonesome Kicker [03:38.77]Another blocked kick [03:42.58]And everybody blames me [03:46.19]But it was the Left Guard [03:48.19]Who didn't pick up his man [03:51.25]Oh, why can't they see... [04:07.67]In my home country [04:09.85]I could have been a minor league soccer player [04:14.97]But I came to America [04:17.02]Seeking fortune and seeking fame [04:22.52]I didn't realize that if I shanked one [04:25.76]And blew the point spread [04:29.88]Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi [04:33.31]After the game [04:37.00]So I go home at night [04:39.12]'Cause I never get invited [04:40.11]To go drinking with the other guys [04:44.67]And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot [04:48.10]As I eat a plate of cold french fries [04:51.91]And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend [04:56.03]And my son can't look me in the eyes [04:59.27]But that's the life I live [05:02.64]The Lonesome Kicker [05:10.58]Kicking for you [05:17.75]They took my snow shoe [05:25.87]They're going for two