Such Horrible Things-Creature Feature

[00:19.40]Sit back now [00:20.61]Let me tell you a tale [00:22.00]Where justice does not prevail [00:24.42]About an ill fated life [00:25.95]So very full of strife [00:27.77]Where two wrongs do not make a right [00:29.98]So [00:31.31][Verse 1] [00:31.41]When I was born [00:32.54]I did surely scorn [00:33.75]My proud parents' name [00:35.18]Then their lives went down the drain [00:36.41]Drove them insane [00:37.90]My birth was a curse [00:39.21]I bit the nurse [00:40.17]Oh, but I love the worst [00:41.44]I deserve to be slowly submersed [00:44.62]Dried out then laid in a hearse [00:47.68][Verse 2] [00:47.78]When I was two [00:49.08]I poured super glue [00:50.46]Into my father's hair [00:52.06]As he sat unaware [00:53.53]In his arm chair [00:54.30]Much to his dismay [00:55.19]Had to cut it all away [00:56.53]Oh, but it felt great [00:58.21]I deserve to be cut and filleted [01:01.22]Then tossed about in disarray [01:03.67]Until the pieces melt away [01:05.50][Chorus] [01:05.60]I am not a bad man [01:07.11]Even though I do bad things [01:08.48]Very bad things [01:09.72]Such horrible things [01:11.19]Oh, but it's not quite what it seems [01:12.95](Not quite what he seems) [01:13.92]Not quite what I seem [01:16.28]Ah, hell [01:17.53]It's exactly what it seems [01:21.35][Verse 3] [01:21.45]When I was four [01:22.84]I'd wait by the door [01:24.20]With a knife in my hand [01:25.34]And a most devious plan [01:26.91]It would be quite grand [01:28.8]As the mail fell through the slot [01:29.44]The sharp edge he got [01:30.34]Oh but I love the thought [01:31.70]I deserve to be tied in a knot [01:35.30]Broken bones and blood clots [01:39.01][Verse 4] [01:39.11]When I was six [01:40.36]I used to trick [01:41.68]The next door neighbor's son [01:42.74]In the woods we would run [01:43.53]Time for fun [01:44.46]Hide and seek has a cost [01:45.46]He would be forever lost [01:47.65]Oh, but I love to scoff [01:49.58]I deserve to have my head lopped off [01:53.0]Hidden and covered in moss [01:55.3]Until this memory is forgot [01:56.69][Chorus] [01:56.89]I am not a bad man [01:58.38]even though I do bad things [02:00.27]Very bad things [02:01.0]Such horrible things [02:02.57]Oh but it's not quite what it seems [02:04.20](Not quite what he seems) [02:05.17]Not quite what I seem [02:07.42]Ah, hell [02:08.96]It's exactly what it seems [02:12.68][Verse 5] [02:12.78]When I was eight [02:14.18]I used to hate [02:15.50]The color of my house [02:16.98]So as quiet as a mouse [02:17.32]I burned it down to the ground [02:19.45]When no one was around [02:20.84]Oh, but I love the sound [02:22.31]I deserve to be quickly put down [02:25.69]Rotting six feet underground [02:29.37][Verse 6] [02:29.47]When I was ten [02:30.79]I used to pretend [02:32.13]To drown in the sea [02:33.50]Till they'd come to rescue me [02:34.87]Then proceed to laugh in their face [02:37.54]Such a disgrace [02:39.0]Oh, but I love the taste [02:40.54]I deserve to have my brains displaced [02:43.63]All over the fireplace [02:45.53]Until this life has been erased [02:47.55][Chorus] [02:47.65]I am not a bad man [02:49.19]Even though I do bad things [02:50.69]Very bad things [02:51.54]Such horrible things [02:53.17]Oh, but it's not quite what it seems [02:54.90](Not quite what he seems) [02:55.85]Not quite what I seem [02:57.0]Ah, hell [02:58.66]It's exactly what it seems [03:02.8][Verse 7] [03:02.9]When I was twelve [03:03.99]I used to delve [03:05.00]Into evil schemes [03:06.57]Just to elicit screams [03:08.29]Boost my self esteem [03:09.05]Pushed my sister down a well [03:10.36]She just fell [03:11.5]Oh but I loved to dwell [03:12.68]I deserve to roast deep down in hell [03:15.95]Where no one can hear me yell [03:20.76]When I was fourteen [03:23.87]nothing much happened [03:25.62]Well [03:26.64]hee hee [03:27.30]there was that one time [03:28.90][Instrumental] [04:20.76][Chorus] [04:20.86]I am not a bad man [04:21.87]Even though I do bad things [04:22.96]Very bad things [04:23.95]Such horrible things [04:25.9]Oh, but it's not quite what it seems [04:26.79](Not quite what he seems) [04:27.86]Not quite what I seem [04:29.83]Ah, hell [04:31.16]It's exactly what it seems [04:35.43][Verse 8] [04:35.53]When I was sixteen [04:36.81]Life was frightening [04:38.71]My brother was quite dull [04:40.10]So with laughter in my skull [04:41.4]Pushed him in a hole [04:42.1]Then buried him alive [04:43.83]He barely survived [04:45.1]Oh, but I love the cries [04:46.38]I deserved to be battered and fried [04:49.84]With an electric chair that's set on high [04:53.70][Verse 9] [04:53.80]Now that I'm eighteen [04:54.93]I still hate things [04:55.92]In this padded cell I call my home [04:58.30]No friends, no phone [04:59.80]No life to call my own [05:02.80]Here I will lie [05:04.00]Until the very day I die [05:06.00]Until my blood begins to dry [05:08.10]And I return to the darkness from whence I came [05:15.87]So [05:16.79][Chorus] [05:16.89]I am not a bad man [05:18.65]Even though I do bad things [05:21.35]Very bad things [05:22.25]Such horrible things [05:23.92]But it鈥檚 not quite what it seems [05:27.90]Not quite what I seem [05:30.29]Ah, hell [05:32.10]I'm exactly what I seem