伴-李伟菘

[00:01.56]Passage 14 Self-Esteem [00:04.910]Self-esteem is the combination of self-confidence and self-repespect - the conviction that you [00:13.733]are competent to cope with life’s challenges and are worthy of happiness. [00:19.865]Self-esteem is the way you talk to yourself about yourself. [00:24.518]Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects; it entails a sense of personal [00:30.360]efficacy and a sense of personal worth. [00:34.48]It is the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect. [00:39.198]It is the conviction that one is competent to live and worthy of living. [00:45.341]Our self-esteem and self-image are developed by how we talk to ourselves. [00:50.772]All of us have conscious and unconscious memories of all the times we felt [00:56.506]bad or wrong – they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. [01:02.78]This is where the critical voice gets started. [01:05.500]Everyone has a critical inner voice. [01:08.433]People with low self-esteem simply have a more vicious and demeaning inner voice. [01:14.639]Psychologists say that almost every aspect of our lives – our personal happiness, [01:20.968]success, relationships with others, achievement, creativity, [01:26.226]dependencies – are dependent on our level of self-esteem. [01:31.16]The more we have, the better we deal with things. Positive self-esteem is important [01:37.344]because when people experience it, [01:39.785]they feel good and look good, they are effective and productive, and they respond [01:45.246]to other people and themselves in healthy, positive, growing ways. [01:50.900]People who have positive self-esteem know that they are lovable and capable, [01:57.233]and they care about themselves and other people. [02:00.561]They do not have to build themselves up by tearing other people down or by [02:05.938]patronizing less competent people. [02:09.08]Our background largely determines what we will become in personality and more importantly [02:15.445]in self-esteem. Where do feelings of worthlessness come from? [02:21.174]Many come from our families, since more than 80％of our waking hours up to [02:26.551]the age of eighteen are spent under their direct influence. [02:30.793]We are who we are because of their influence. [02:34.574]We build our own brands of self-esteem [02:37.330]from four ingredients: fate, the positive things [02:41.638]life offers the negative things life offers and our own decisions about [02:47.604]how to respond to fate, the positives and the negatives. [02:52.780]Neither fate nor decisions can be determined by other people in our own life. [02:58.447]No one can change fate. We can control our thinking and therefore our [03:03.984]decisions in life.