Sabbath-Jenny Hval

[00:00.640] [00:12.970]I'm six or seven and dreaming that I'm a boy. [00:18.220]I emerged out of the water and went into the garden [00:22.766]with a small silver hand between my thighs. [00:28.722]Later, in the shower, I see a boy naked. [00:33.815]He is contagious, and I can feel mine. [00:39.171]I was told not to stare then, but my eyes have never been larger, [00:44.682]in and out of my body, my stare kept growing. [00:49.724]I guess that's what's called flesh memory. [01:04.562]Oh, how I wanted to tell him that we had switched places! [01:16.447]In my dream I'd had him on me, [01:19.530]but I didn't that day when I told her the dog was a wolf and the rock was a cliff, [01:27.602]and you're a horse! [01:29.561]I said, if the dog was a wolf and I a boy she could be a horse, sure thing, she had no excuse. [01:42.413]And we were running then, horse and wolf and girl, [01:48.134]braces on her teeth like a bridle, a bride, a bridle. [01:54.090]I felt tight against supple, cool against hot, wires and skin. [02:00.882]I've always been like this. [02:19.873]Somedays I feel like my body is straightened, [02:23.216]held up by thin braces, [02:25.358]metal spires embrace my spine, my face, my cunt. [02:31.262]I can feel myself from above, [02:33.979]but I can't see who's holding them. [02:36.565]It would be easy to think about submission, [02:41.998]but I don't think it's about submission, [02:47.144]it's about holding and being held. [02:51.820] [02:57.541]We ran willingly, horse-like, girl-like, boy-like. [03:03.157]Her voice neighing in the back of her throat, [03:06.867]and when I came closer we collided and kissed in the passing, on the mouth, like horses do. [03:16.245]I said, her thin lips over enamel and steel. [03:22.566]I felt the outline of her braces against my own, [03:30.482]little silver arms reaching for each other