8 - 29 - 91-Foxes in Fiction

[00:00.000] 作词 : Foxes in Fiction [00:01.000] 作曲 : Foxes in Fiction [01:00]8/29/91 10:55 PM [01:12]slow at the track today [01:15]my damned life dangling on the hook [01:17]I am there everyday [01:21]I don't see anybody else out there every day except the employees [01:26]I probably have some malady [01:32]Saroyan lost his ass at the track,Fante at poker,Dostoevsky at the wheel [01:40]And it's really not a matter of the money unless you run out of it [01:45]I had a gambler friend once who said‘‘I don't care if I win or lose,I just want to gamble’’ [01:53]I have more respect for money,I've had very little of it most of my life [02:00]There are only two things wrong with money:too much or too little [02:07]Well,I supposed there's always something out there we want to torment ourselves with [02:13]and you get the feel of the other people,the desperate darkness,and how easy they toss it in and quit [02:22]the racetrack crowd is the world brought down to size,life grinding against death and losing [02:33]Nobody wins finally ,we are just seeking a reprieve,a moment out of the glare [02:40](****,I just burned the end of my finger with cigarette as I was musing on this purposelessness [02:50]That woke me up,brought me out of this Sartre state!) [02:55]Hell,we need humor,we need to laugh.I used to laugh more,I used to do everying more [03:05]Now,I am writing and writing and writing,the older I get the more I write,dancing with death [03:17]Good show,and I think the stuff is alright [03:24]One day they'll say‘‘Dead’’and I'll be truly discoverd and hung from stinking bright lampposts [03:35]So what?Immortality is the stupid invention of the living [03:42]You see what the racetrack does?It makes the lines roll [03:47]Wacks,lightening and luck.The last bluebird singing [03:53]Anything I say sounds fine because I gamble when I write [03:59]Too many are too careful.They study,they teach [04:15]and they fail,and the strips them of their fire [04:22]I feel better now,up here on this second floor with the Macintosh.My pal [04:30]And Mahler is on the radio,he glides with such ease,taking big chances,one needs that sometimes [04:42]Then he sends in the long power rises [04:47]Thank you,Mahler,I borrow from from you and I can never pay you back [04:54]I smoke too much,I drink too much,but I can' twrite too much [05:01]it just keeps coming and I call for more and it arrives and mixes with Mahler [05:08]Sometimes I deliberately stop myself [05:13]I say,wait a moment ,go to sleep or look at your 8 cats or sit with your wife on the coach [05:23]You're either at the track or with the Macintosh [05:27]And then I stop,put on the brakes ,parking the damned thing [05:34]Some people have written that my writing has helped them to go on,It's helped me,too [05:41]The drinking,the writing,the horses,the 8 cats,my wife [05:49]There's a small balcony here,the door is open and I can see the lights of the cars on the Harbor Freeway south [05:59]they never stop,that roll of lights,on and on [06:04]All those people.What are they doing?What are they thinking? [06:11]We're all sent to die,all of us.What a circus! [06:15]That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't [06:20]We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities,we are eaten up by nothing [06:28]Keep it going,Mahler!You've made this a wondrous night [06:34]Don't stop,you son of a *****!Don't stop!