Dear Diary-LightSw1tch/Vadim Sakharov

[00:00.00] 作词 : LightSw1tch/damson [00:00.01] 作曲 : LightSw1tch/damson [00:00.03] 制作人 : LightSw1tch/damson/nkmusic [00:00.05] 编曲 : damson/nkmusic [00:00.07] 监制 : 慕凡 [00:00.09]I derive my sense from being a victim [00:03.39]我总觉得自己是受害者 [00:03.99]Verses I wrote turn me into a sorrow bitch [00:06.63]写歌词的时候把自己弄得像个怨妇 [00:07.56]Every bullet I shoot is a hollow tip [00:09.78]我甚至不知道我的怒火宣泄到了何处 [00:10.80]I just want love andthat's it [00:12.24]我想要的只是爱，只有爱 [00:12.81]Tell me that you love me, tell me that you care [00:15.54]快说你爱我，快说你在乎 [00:16.20]Tell me thatyou'll catch me when I melt in the air [00:17.94]当我要化掉的时候，找个瓶把我装起来吧 [00:19.08]Tell me that you want me, tell me that you near [00:21.33]快说你要我，说你不离开 [00:22.05]Tell me that your soul open when shadows leer [00:24.57]想要你向我敞开心扉，当黑暗要吞噬我 [00:26.46]Trauma- inducedmaturity's killing me [00:28.59]我受够了烂事倒逼出来的所谓“成长” [00:29.58]You wanted someone to lean on, butI'm a piece of broke reed [00:31.41]你想要一个靠得住的人，但我差太远了 [00:32.43]Smoke at the window eats my lungs and vision [00:33.93]窗边点颗烟，侵蚀我的肺和视线 [00:34.86]Isolation, in the midst of a mirage [00:36.27]恍惚间被幻象从现实中隔开 [00:37.17]Different masks, different missions, switch between identities [00:39.27]几副面具下，变换的情景，不同的角色 [00:40.35]It's squeezing my energy, tweaking my memory [00:42.15]压榨我的精力，扰乱我的记忆 [00:42.96]I see stories unfold, I think it was never me [00:44.19]眼前闪过的片段里，我并没有参演 [00:45.18]But the bitter, I can taste realistically [00:47.28]却能品味到其中苦涩 [00:48.18]So I gotta, jot this shit down, and put it in... [00:50.55]于是我，写下这些，把它们放进… [00:51.30]Dear Diary [00:51.93]亲爱的日记 [00:52.26]This is my first time writing [00:53.52]这是我第一次见你 [00:54.03]Pleasure to meet you [00:54.93]很高兴认识你 [00:55.35]Hope it won’ t be bothering [00:56.67]希望不会打扰你 [00:57.12]It’ s been a ****ed up day [00:58.11]今天真是糟透了 [00:58.56]My mood’ s been in my way [00:59.58]情绪一直在和我作对 [01:00.18]Nothing goes my way [01:01.08]什么都不顺 [01:01.80]I don’ t want no school no more, cuz they’ re always at my face [01:03.78]我再也不想上学了，他们总是对着我指指点点 [01:05.10]Screaming everyday, I feel nothing but hate [01:07.20]每天都在吼，我心里只剩下恨 [01:08.04]They saying they love me, but what kinda love is it [01:09.36]他们说他们爱我，可这算什么爱 [01:10.32]They tryna control me in everything, but they don’ t even know me [01:13.47]他们想控制我的一切，却根本不了解我 [01:14.52]One time, in office [01:14.88]有一次，在办公室 [01:15.33]They asked me to write my dream on a paper [01:17.55]他们让我把梦想写在纸上 [01:18.27]I wrote singer, they laughed about it [01:19.65]我写了“歌手”，他们却笑了 [01:20.34]Criticized about it [01:20.85]对我指指点点 [01:21.30]Saying I’ m never gon make it [01:22.32]说我永远不可能成功 [01:22.86]Better for me to stay on papers [01:24.27]说我还是专心在书本里比较好 [01:25.11]Man **** them papers [01:25.56]去他妈的书本 [01:25.95]They never read me on papers [01:27.12]他们从来没在书本里读懂过我 [01:27.90]My class teacher, don’ t like her [01:29.01]我的班主任，我不喜欢她 [01:29.67]Cuz one time, she slapped me with a book [01:30.90]因为有一次她拿书拍我 [01:31.50]On my head, first time to feel the weight of knowledge [01:32.67]拍在我头上，那是我第一次感到“知识的重量” [01:33.87]Adrenaline and my nerves told me something was wrong [01:35.94]肾上腺素和神经都在告诉我不对劲 [01:36.93]But looked around, someone way worse [01:37.62]可我看了看四周，有人更惨 [01:38.34]He got dragged out of the classroom, cuz he didn’ t finish his work [01:40.77]他因为没完成作业，被拖出了教室 [01:41.64]It was all silence, no words [01:42.27]全场一片寂静，没有一句话 [01:43.02]You could even hear a pin drop [01:43.95]安静到能听见针掉在地上 [01:44.64]When I made it home, I was still in shock [01:45.48]我回到家时，整个人还在震惊中 [01:46.35]But no time to react, [01:46.83]但根本没时间反应 [01:47.37]I got a teacher waiting [01:48.24]还有个老师在等我 [01:48.72]My tutoring lessons, that’ s how you get better [01:50.49]我的补习课，他们说这样才能变好 [01:51.51]And better, and better [01:52.56]越来越好 [01:52.74]Than everyone else, [01:53.49]比所有人都好 [01:53.85]My nature disagrees [01:55.35]可我的天性不认同 [01:55.92]Was up by11 [01:56.16]晚上十一点还醒着 [01:56.67]Doing work, I’ m only ten [01:57.57]写着作业，我才十岁 [01:58.14]They told me sufferings build a man [01:59.43]他们说苦难能造就男人 [02:00.06]Some shit I don’ t understand [02:00.93]有些话我不懂 [02:01.38]But one thing I do understand [02:02.61]但有一件事我很清楚 [02:03.24]They never make me perfect [02:12.99]他们从没让我变得完美 [02:17.28]Dear Diary [02:18.15]亲爱的日记 [02:18.45]I’ m thinking what’ s perfection [02:20.01]我在想，什么是完美 [02:20.73]Is it100 percent on a test? [02:21.84]是考试一百分吗？ [02:22.29]What if I’ m ain’ t the best [02:23.34]如果我不是最好的呢 [02:23.91]A kid in my class [02:24.63]我班里有个孩子 [02:25.08]I heard his story [02:26.04]我听过他的故事 [02:26.46]One time, his mom was shouting and beating him in the public [02:29.46]有一次，他妈妈在公共场合对他又吼又打 [02:30.51]The more tear he dropped, the louder it got [02:31.74]他哭得越多，声音就越大 [02:32.31]More people came [02:33.06]围观的人越来越多 [02:33.51]His mom didn’ t stop, his tears flowed like a river [02:35.37]他妈妈没有停下，他的眼泪像河一样流 [02:36.60]Maybe that’ s why he’ s a dick [02:37.80]也许这就是他变成混蛋的原因 [02:38.70]The anger from his family passed over to him [02:40.74]家庭里的愤怒转移到了他身上 [02:41.61]He did some terrible things the other day [02:42.75]前几天他做了很糟糕的事 [02:43.50]He framed my bro and I for making a mess in class [02:46.11]他栽赃我和我兄弟，说我们在教室捣乱 [02:47.25]The teacher wasn’ t there, so she asked who did it [02:48.33]老师不在，她回来后问是谁干的 [02:49.17]“ It was these two people” [02:49.92]“就是这两个人” [02:50.40]He pointed my bro and I [02:51.69]他指着我和我兄弟 [02:52.23]Speechless, like a tape on my mouth [02:53.76]我们说不出话，像嘴被胶带封住 [02:54.69]The teacher believed it [02:55.20]老师相信了他 [02:55.62]Cuz he had a better grade than both of us probably [02:58.23]可能因为他的成绩比我们都好 [02:59.16]No matter how hard we tried to explain [03:00.69]不管我们怎么解释 [03:01.20]Screamed at the top of our lungs [03:02.10]用尽全力去喊 [03:02.49]Teacher didn’ t listen [03:03.57]老师都不听 [03:03.87]Returned home [03:04.44]回到家 [03:04.68]Talked to my mom [03:05.31]跟我妈妈说了 [03:05.70]So did my friend [03:06.54]我朋友也是 [03:06.84]Same night, both of our moms had to call each other [03:08.79]那天晚上，我们的妈妈互相通了电话 [03:09.81]They were both pissed, so was I [03:11.07]她们都很生气，我也是 [03:11.64]It made me understand how much a family effects a person [03:13.89]这让我明白家庭对一个人的影响有多大 [03:15.00]My mom was supportive, that made a difference [03:17.13]我妈支持我，这便是不同之处 [03:17.94]Sometimes I couldn’ t even trust myself for what I’ m hearing [03:19.83]有时候我甚至不敢相信自己听到的东西 [03:20.91]Some children hurt themselves, parents think it’ s for attention [03:23.70]有些孩子伤害自己，父母却觉得他们只是博关注 [03:24.93]Never been perfect, flaws been neglected [03:26.28]从来不完美，缺陷被忽视 [03:26.94]Til somebody jumps off a building [03:28.32]直到有人从楼上跳下去 [03:28.98]God damn that’ s what they called perfection [03:30.39]天呐，原来这就是他们说的“完美” [03:31.35]Tell me your heartbreak, tell me your pain [03:32.58]倾诉你的心碎，倾诉你的苦楚 [03:33.42]Tell me about the mistakes you done made [03:35.37]和我聊聊你犯过的错 [03:36.00]Tell me your secrets, tell me your days [03:38.37]坦白你的秘密，记录你的生活 [03:39.12]Tell me about all those bitches you hate [03:41.37]在我身上刻下你憎恨的烂人们的名字吧