No Big Bang-Priests

[00:00.00]No Big Bang -Priests [00:13.386]I once had a conversation with someone [00:15.236]He talked to me of those twilight hours [00:17.382]Those times when your mind is on fire [00:19.769]You can't sleep [00:20.792]Because the creative and analytical possibilities [00:22.868]Before you are endless [00:24.615]He said those are the times he wants to write [00:26.730]I understood him but I was also flabbergasted [00:29.388]I couldn't comprehend his unabashed enthusiasm [00:32.36]It was as if he didn't know the other side of that [00:35.122]The other side I find [00:36.767]To be so intrinsically attached [00:38.721]To those moments [00:39.642]When your mind becomes a rocket [00:42.120]No words [00:43.50]No words [00:43.810]No big bang [00:44.707]No big bang [00:45.523]No big bang [00:46.354]No big bang [00:47.75]No big bang [00:47.907]No big bang [00:48.659]No [00:50.52]Big [00:51.892]Bang [00:54.988]I get the exhilaration [00:56.388]But when you look down and see [00:57.876]The sheer stupidity of the roller coaster [00:59.982]Just staring you in the face as blank [01:02.81]And inescapable as the slab of concrete below [01:05.157]Just waiting to catch you [01:06.485]To crush you [01:07.341]Your falling body [01:08.810]Your skull [01:09.834]All of the sudden [01:10.834]All of the science and evolution and progress [01:12.833]I mean sure [01:13.882]It looks good from a distance [01:15.870]But when you're really inside of it [01:17.486]You realize it's f**king terrifying [01:19.759]The inexorable pull of progress [01:22.147]When your mind keeps running [01:23.411]Along the same narrow tract of logic [01:25.491]For what feels like forever [01:26.795]And the developments are horrible [01:28.739]And gruesome and haunting [01:30.497]And your mind was dark in there [01:32.141]And you can't unseen them [01:37.36]How could one not be scared of that [01:40.94]No crash [01:41.15]No crash [01:41.678]No big bang [01:42.543]No big bang [01:43.367]No big bang [01:44.143]No big bang [01:44.975]No big bang [01:45.767]No big bang [01:46.583]No [01:48.99]Big [01:49.795]Bang [01:52.947]Oh I know those times [01:54.507]Those times when your mind is a rocket [01:56.579]Propelling you through space so fast [01:59.305]But it can flip all at once [02:00.873]Suddenly I realize the rocket is just a prison [02:03.552]A small contained space with no real food [02:06.768]No companionship [02:08.256]No time passing [02:09.424]No gravity [02:10.424]Just the weight of my own insignificance [02:12.590]My foolishness and my hubris [02:14.664]Thrust into the glaring light [02:16.160]That is the sun [02:17.197]But much much closer than it was before [02:20.133]And all I want is to die [02:21.806]Not so much die as be undone [02:24.195]To go back and undo it all [02:26.414]Make all of me [02:27.582]As if it never happened [02:28.544]In the first place [02:31.777]No birth [02:32.369]No birth [02:33.81]No big bang [02:33.937]No big bang [02:34.777]No big bang [02:35.585]No big bang [02:36.353]No big bang [02:37.161]No big bang [02:37.993]No [02:39.417]Big [02:41.153]Bang