Ashokan Farewell/Sullivan Ballou Letter

[00:00.300] [00:07.000] A week before the battle of Bull Run, Sullivan Ballou, a major in the 2nd Rhode Island Volunteers, wrote home to his wife in Smithfield. [00:18.000] July 14, 1861. Washington DC [00:24.000] Dear Sarah: The indications are very strong [00:28.000] That we shall move in a few days — perhaps tomorrow. [00:31.000] And lest I should not be able to write you again, [00:35.000] I feel impelled to write a few lines [00:37.000] That may fall under your eye [00:38.000] When I shall be no more … [00:42.000] I have no misgivings about, [00:44.000] Or lack of confidence [00:45.000]In the cause in which I am engaged, [00:48.000] And my courage does not halt or falter. [00:52.000] I know how American Civilization [00:54.000] Now leans on the triumph of the Government [00:57.000] And how great a debt we owe to those [00:59.000] Who went before us [01:00.000] Through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. [01:04.000] And I am willing — perfectly willing — [01:06.000] To lay down all my joys in this life, [01:09.000]To help maintain this Government, [01:11.000] And to pay that debt … [01:15.000] Sarah, my love for you is deathless, [01:20.000] It seems to bind me with mighty cables [01:22.000] That nothing but Omnipotence could break; [01:25.000] And yet my love of Country [01:26.000] Comes over me like a strong wind [01:29.000] And bears me irresistibly [01:30.000] With all those chains to the battle field. [01:35.000] The memories of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you [01:38.000] Come crowding over me, [01:41.000] And I feel most deeply grateful to God [01:43.000] And to you [01:45.000] That I have enjoyed them for so long. [01:48.000] And how hard it is for me to give them up [01:50.000] And burn to ashes the hopes of future years, [01:55.000] When, God willing, [01:56.000] We might still have lived and loved together, [01:59.000]And seen our boys grown up， [02:00.000] To honorable manhood around us. [02:04.000] If I do not return, [02:06.000] My dear Sarah, [02:08.000] Never forget how much I loved you, [02:10.998] Nor that when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, [02:15.998] It will whisper your name. [02:20.998] Forgive my many faults [02:22.998] And the many pains I have caused you. [02:26.998] How thoughtless, [02:27.998] How foolish I have sometimes been! [02:31.998] But, O Sarah! [02:33.998] If the dead can come back to this earth [02:36.998] And flit unseen around those they love, [02:39.998] I shall always be with you; [02:41.998] In the brightest day and the darkest night … [02:44.998] Always, always, [02:49.998] And when the soft breeze fans your cheek, [02:52.998] It shall be my breath, [02:54.998] When the cool air your throbbing temple, [02:57.998] It shall be my spirit passing by. [03:03.998] Sarah do not mourn me dead; [03:07.998] Think I am gone [03:09.998] And wait for me, [03:11.998] For we shall meet again … [03:19.998] Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later at the First Battle of Bull Run.