Parameters-Ani DiFranco

[00:00.00]ani difranco - parameters [00:15.12] [00:17.12] [00:19.12]thirty-three years go by [00:20.42]and not once do you come home [00:21.45]to find a man sitting in your bedroom [00:24.78]that is [00:25.53]a man you don't know [00:26.72]who came a long way to deliver one very specific message: [00:31.94]lock your back door, you idiot [00:34.17]however invincible you imagine yourself to be [00:36.86]you are wrong [00:37.85] [00:48.41]thirty-three years go by [00:49.83]and you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares [00:53.20]your breasts hang like a woman's [00:55.28]and you don't jump at shadows anymore [00:58.33]instead you may simply pause to admire [01:00.53]those that move with the grace of trees [01:02.76]dancing past streetlights [01:06.21]and you walk through your house without turning on lamps [01:09.18]sure of the angle from door to table [01:11.35]from table to staircase [01:13.32]sure of the number of steps [01:15.02]seven to the landing [01:16.16]two to turn right [01:17.79]then seven more [01:19.34]sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of memory [01:23.71]across your bedroom [01:24.70]and collapse with a sigh onto your bed [01:27.65]shoes falling [01:28.82]thunk thunk [01:29.89]onto the floor [01:30.94]and there will be no strange man [01:32.85]suddenly all that time sitting there [01:35.37]sitting there on what must be the prize chair [01:38.04]in your collection of uncomfortable chairs [01:40.69]with a wild look in his eyes [01:42.31]and hands that you cannot see [01:43.83]holding what? [01:44.68]you do not know [01:45.77] [01:51.77]so sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your isolation [01:56.29]that you are painfully slow to adjust [02:00.33]if only because [02:01.73]yours is not that genre of story [02:05.39]still and again, life cannot muster the stuff of movies [02:09.25]no bullets shattering glass [02:11.31]instead fear sits patiently [02:14.02]fear almost smiles when you finally see him [02:16.59]though you have kept him waiting for thirty-three years [02:19.39]and now he has let himself in [02:21.11]and he has brought you fistfuls of teenage nightmares [02:24.02]though you think you see, in your naivete [02:26.48]that he is empty handed [02:27.69]and this brings you great relief [02:30.15]at the time [02:31.39] [02:35.82]new as you are, really, to the idea that [02:38.78]even after you've long since gotten used to the parameters [02:41.76]they can all change [02:43.52]while you're out one night having a drink with a friend [02:45.83]some big hand may be turning a big dial [02:48.79]switching channels on your dreams [02:50.59]until you find yourself lost in them [02:53.10]and watching your daily life with the sound off [02:58.71]and of course having cautiously turned down [03:01.24]the flame under your eyes [03:03.28]there are more shadows around everything [03:05.71]your vision a dim flashlight [03:07.30]that you have to shake all the way to the outhouse [03:10.51]your solitude elevating itself like the spirit of the dead [03:14.32]presiding over your supposed repose [03:17.49]not really sleep at all [03:19.45]just a sleeping position and a series of suspicious sounds [03:23.55]a clanking pipe [03:24.92]a creaking branch [03:25.95]the footfalls of a cat [03:28.49] [03:37.58]all of this and maybe [03:39.56]the swish of the soft leather of your intruder's coat [03:43.22]as you walk him step by step back to the door [03:46.53]having talked him down off the ledge of a very bad idea [03:50.70]soft leather, big feet, almond eyes [03:53.77]the kinds of details the police officer would ask for later [03:56.95]with his clipboard [03:58.38]and his pistol [03:59.77]in your hallway [04:01.18] [04:29.05] [04:52.10] [05:09.36] [05:54.37]end