Message 7 from Hearty White-MGMT

[00:00.00]Message number 7. Volume 1. [00:06.06] [00:07.34]Where am I? [00:10.63]Sometimes, when I'm in a room, it will remind me through a smell or something, [00:20.47]of a room I've been in before. [00:23.90]Sometimes the smell could be can-fer, or vanilla, [00:27.45]or (whatever) what it is smell they put in gas so that you... [00:31.84]You’ll be able to detect there's a leak. [00:35.94]And suddenly, I'll be transformed to that other place and usually it's a room I had as a child [00:43.65]in which I had a terrible fever once. [00:46.83]And the entire room was transformed in my imagination or in my feverish hallucination [00:52.63]into a place of screaming white faces looking at me. [00:56.89]It was interesting and disconcerting at the same time. [01:01.41]It was around then that I first began having the dream [01:06.01]where I was a child at the bottom of the sea. [01:08.98]And there, my sea uncles, and I think maybe they were really turtles, [01:14.37]introduced me to a robot who was apparently my brother. [01:19.49]My robot brother under the ocean. I thought about him for many years, [01:24.76]I believe he had a red head and a yellow body. [01:27.66]Kinda now I'm thinking like Iron Man. [01:30.80]But this, I hadn't heard of Iron Man at the time. [01:33.96]And then we would travel places years later. [01:37.90]I found out I had a brother I didn't know about, my father had had another son. [01:45.14]And he wasn't a robot, but to me he was [01:49.55]cause that’s what havin' a half-brother is like sometimes. [01:53.11]I think the meaning of the dream, and the whole meaning of the fever, was this, [01:57.94]and not about a real brother at all, [02:00.92]but to know yourself in such a way that that hidden robot brother in you, [02:05.75]again, introduced to you by your (body) underwater uncles, [02:09.43]can help you come to peace with things. [02:14.03]That's why other smells don't take me places - [02:19.28]like most of the bad ones, like rotten meat, which I remember smelling like on a ship one time. [02:24.77]You have to store food on a ship you see. [02:28.11]If you're going out to sea you can't just, uh, expect to go shopping. [02:33.02]You have to bring along what you're going to eat. [02:35.61]So, if you bring along something that's too fresh, [02:37.96]it's gonna go bad. [02:40.86]And that's a rule a life as well. Make sure things are dried up or put away in tins. [02:48.33]Can last ya, even if ya have malaria and get a fever - start seeing thing that aren't there! [02:55.59]But they can be good company too. [02:58.88]Not everything that isn't there isn't real. [03:04.81]Like this room. [03:07.21]Not this room, but the room I'm in as a child [03:10.45]and I'm brought back to by the gas smells and the can-fer and other things [03:14.32]like I said, maybe it was cookies or something my grandmother was baking. [03:18.92]Cause she would and she'd infect these places in my mind with them molecules imprinting. [03:25.40]And now I can't shake it. [03:28.56]And so maybe if I smell you *sniff sniff sniff* [03:33.05]and your coat been in one of those closets with moth balls, [03:35.71]I'm back there again. [03:37.67]Oh, it's tiresome. I wanna go on and live another life outside this cycle of my memories but I cannot. [03:45.98]I'm trapped inside them, it's a little spiral, [03:48.57]and I think as I die and I remember them more opaquely [03:51.81]and it’ll become more like a Man Ray movie [03:54.00]that's it’s gonna be even more interesting. [03:56.48]What's this part? [03:57.29]Everything will be a surprise as the movie in my mind unwinds. [04:03.09]And it'll remind me of things. And I'll take little naps. [04:08.99]And it won't be so bad. [04:11.63]And that room...it is a ship. [04:16.62]It was a ship all along. [04:19.18]And that's probably why I smelled gas. [04:22.45]But now looking back, [04:25.84]I don't know, would I trade it for being on solid land? [04:31.15]Yes. I would. [04:34.93]That's the funny part. [04:39.40]Where am I? [04:41.99]Message 7, volume 1. [04:44.42]Provided for the public. And these discourses and others. [04:49.17]The where am I network. [05:01.42]where am I? where am I? where am I? where am I? [05:10.62]where am I? where am I?