Year of the Child-Tracie Thoms/Brandon Uranowitz/Christian Borle

[00:00.094](Jason practicing reciting Hebrew) [00:24.142]TRINA: Jason dear, hello. [00:27.351]Are you packed and waiting? [00:30.318]But before we go, [00:33.229]Let me talk with father alone. [00:36.227]Now as the bar mitzvah nears- [00:39.266]Jason, put your walkerman on and hum. [00:42.466]Since this is the last loving thing we'll probably ever do together, [00:46.255]Let's act adult and not go crazy. [00:49.006]MARVIN: Have you chosen yet who'll cater? [00:51.462]TRINA: What about it? [00:52.430]MARVIN: I know a person who can cater. (TRINA: It's a personal opinion who should cater. ) [00:55.621]Can we consider who's gonna cater? (TRINA: Shh!) [00:59.055]Please? (TRINA: Ahh!) [00:59.779]Please! ( TRINA: Shh!) [01:00.951]MENDEL: Stop! This is so much crap, [01:04.322]Throw a simple party! [01:05.766]Religion's just a trap [01:08.807]That ensnares the weak and the dumb. [01:10.818]Hey! Stop with the prayers. [01:12.632]TRINA: How can you 'stop with the prayers' at a bar mitzvah? [01:16.504]MENDEL: The whole thing's voodoo, [01:17.895]And I know more than you do! [01:19.859]MARVIN AND TRINA: This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah! [01:25.739]We're more excited than we should be. [01:28.914]This is the year of the child when he spreads out his wings! [01:34.184]There's music in his heart! [01:36.998]His life's about to start! [01:39.920]His body's going wild! [01:42.551]My child- [01:47.538]MARVIN: My child- [01:49.948]TRINA: Our child. [01:52.173]MENDEL: Children, please. [01:54.485]Throw the kid a celebration and relax. [01:59.227]I'll bring women from the wrong side of the tracks. [02:03.186]We'll have a ball! [02:05.771]I guess I'll have to raise this Jason myself. [02:11.463]MARVIN: Isn't he an asshole? (MENDEL: My own bar mitzvah was...) [02:13.407]TRINA: Yes, he is.(MENDEL: A miserable occasion.) [02:14.566]MARVIN: Isn't he too much? [02:15.782]TRINA: Yes, but so are you. Really, kiddo, so are you. (MENDEL: The cause for such abrasion in my family!) [02:18.277]MARVIN: Jesus, he's an asshole! (MENDEL: It still gives me hives!) Jason, where's my hug? [02:21.829]TRINA: Where's my hug? [02:22.448]MARVIN, TRINA, and MENDEL: This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah, [02:28.768]This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah! [02:34.654](doorbell rings) [02:36.005]CHARLOTTE: Look, look, look, look, look! It's a lesbian from next door! [02:41.354]CORDELIA: Followed by her lover who's a lesbian from next door too! [02:45.854]And I've got food for you, [02:47.315]Delicious food for you! [02:49.430]Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine! (TRINA: Ah?) [02:52.293]CORDELIA: Here's dietetic knishes, gefilte fishes, food that's from the heart! [02:57.512]So take a bite and see [02:59.603]If all your friends agree [03:01.073]It's good! [03:02.024]EVERYONE but JASON: Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yum! [03:06.478]We'll have one perfect time! [03:09.365]We'll spend billions of dollars! [03:11.810]TRINA: Conga! [03:12.502]EVERYONE but JASON: We'll have flowers galore, [03:15.593]And the band will sound fine! [03:18.960]There'll be chandeliers set round the room [03:22.328]With the men in tuxedos! [03:26.754]There'll be food, like food never before! [03:29.882]What a day to remember! [03:34.685]This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah! [03:40.517]JASON: They're more excited than they should be. [03:42.948]EVERYONE but JASON: This is the year of the child when he spreads out his wings! [03:48.256]There's music in his heart! [03:51.189]His life's about to start! [03:54.147]His body's going wild! [03:57.343]My- [04:00.302]ALL: (breaking off and harmonizing) Child!