Midlife Crisis Center-Various Artists

[00:00.00]Do you find your daughter's friends attractive,
你是不是也觉得你女儿的闺蜜们很有魅力 [00:03.54]but know they look at you as just a dad?
却知道她们不过把你看成老爸一辈的人？ [00:06.21]Does the typing pool at work think of you more as
是不是办公室的打字员也觉得你像 [00:08.71]a teddy bear than a tiger?
可爱的泰迪熊，而不是勇猛的虎王？ [00:10.56]Do you whack off in your minivan
你是不是还在面包车里一边自娱自乐 [00:12.61]while listening to teen pop?
一边听少女组合助兴？ [00:14.22]You know, you'll be dead soon.
你很清楚，你时日无多了 [00:16.37]You've missed out on so much.
你开始无比怀念过去的激情岁月 [00:18.15]It's not too late to make a change.
想改变吗？现在开始还不晚！ [00:20.48]At the Midlife Crisis Center,
在中年危机一站式解决中心 [00:22.30]we know you've made a success of yourself.
我们最清楚你是多么成功 [00:24.61]Why are you sharing it with others?
为什么要把你靠本事获得的一切拱手他人？ [00:26.86]Why not enjoy it while you have the chance?
为什么不抓住机会及时行乐呢？ [00:29.21]What's holding you back?
你还在犹豫什么？ [00:31.62]Cowardice. We'll get you to
不要当懦夫。我们会带你 [00:33.23]the other side of your despair.
逃离绝望的生活 [00:34.98]We specialize in real estate, divorce attorneys,
我们是多领域专家，精通房地产、离婚诉讼 [00:37.89]mistress placement, plastic surgery,
小三安置、整形手术 [00:39.65]hair coloring and replacement,
染发植发 [00:41.42]male fur coats, and much more.
男款毛皮大衣，等等等等 [00:43.61]With a designer clothing store and
我们还有高档服装店和 [00:45.29]sports car dealership on site.
跑车交易行 [00:47.24]The Midlife Crisis Center will
来中年危机一站式解决中心 [00:48.87]help you rediscover life while you still can.
我们会让你及时焕发人生第二春 [00:51.36]Come with your wife, leave with a sports car.
带老婆过来，换辆跑车回去 [00:54.21]While you've made a success of yourself,
在你功成名就之时 [00:56.48]her chest has gone south.
她的大白兔却越垂越长 [00:58.21]How can you have that trollop on your arm
你还能忍受这个泼妇 [01:00.80]for a second longer?
哪怕一秒钟吗？ [01:01.83]The answer is, you can't.
显然不能 [01:04.19]Ignore your children. Take yourself seriously.
孩子们也自生自灭去吧。只有你自己最重要 [01:07.58]Visit the Midlife Crisis Center today.
中年危机一站式解决中心，今天就来吧！