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[00:16.157]Well I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter
[00:23.549]Hell you know how hot it gets on Tatooine
[00:31.386]Well then I saw that there cantina
[00:35.644]I'll go in for an Orangina
[00:39.484]I heard it was rough, but how bad could it be?
[00:47.086]Well I walked through the door, and the music stopped (dead... )
[00:54.740]All manner of men and beasts were staring at me
[01:02.367]Seems just one week before,
[01:06.155]Their Twi'lek slave girl walked out the door
[01:10.753]And I guess I was the next best thing they'd seen
[01:18.589]I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
[01:26.139]I left my manhood there on Tatooine
[01:34.158]Son, it don't mean you're weak
[01:37.528]If you turn the other cheek
[01:41.917]But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man
[01:57.538]I was hit over the head by ol' Han Solo
[02:04.983]I'd have never guessed that pirate was a homo
[02:12.950]I woke up next to Chewbacca
[02:17.077]I was smeared in Wookiee ca-ca
[02:22.537]And what they did to my poor nipples was a no-no
[02:30.870]Oh Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie
[02:38.420]And he yanked that sucker 'til it wasn't so teeny
[02:46.230]He pulled me into Jabba's hut
[02:49.678]He stared intently at my butt
[02:55.556]And then he oo-ta-too-ta'ed me with his zucchini
[03:04.046]I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
[03:11.830]I left my manhood there on Tatooine
[03:19.432]Son, it don't mean you're weak
[03:22.906]If you turn the other cheek
[03:27.295]But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man
[03:32.284]Take it away, boys...
[03:33.904](band instrumental)
[04:06.269]Well the guy walked up and said, "My friend doesn't like you."
[04:12.251](I said, "Sorry.")
[04:14.028]He said "I don't like you either, you better watch yourself."
[04:19.331](I think his name was Tom Waits)
[04:21.864]Then some old dude who taught Vader
[04:25.365]Chopped his arm off with a saber
[04:29.988]That later made for one red hot anal invader
[04:37.747]I was broken on the floor beat to a stupor
[04:45.113]Then I was saved; there at the door were ten stormtroopers
[04:52.846]But then my hope faded away
[04:57.104]I didn't know they cloned 'em gay
[05:02.694]And they each took turns stormtroopin' me in the pooper
[05:10.975]I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
[05:18.759]I left my manhood there on Tatooine
[05:26.517]Son, it don't mean you're weak
[05:30.018]If you turn the other cheek
[05:34.485]Which is why I still go there every week.