Master Of The House-Sacha Baron Cohen/Cast/Helena Bonham Carter

[00:00.76]Sacha Baron Cohen - Master Of The House [00:05.94]My band of soaks [00:07.81] [00:09.43]My den of dissolutes [00:11.37] [00:13.30]My dirty jokes my always **** as newts. [00:20.44] [00:22.21]My sons of whores [00:25.77] [00:28.73]Spent their lives in my inn [00:32.49] [00:36.17]Homing pigeons homing in [00:39.29] [00:40.35]Then fly through my doors [00:43.42] [00:47.58]And I * down on all faults [00:49.95] [00:53.21]Welcome m'sieur [00:54.29] [00:54.85]Sit yourself down [00:56.04] [00:56.55]And meet the best [00:58.18]Innkeeper in town [00:59.69] [01:01.88]As for the rest [01:03.27]All of 'em crooks [01:05.01]Rooking their guests [01:06.76]And cooking the books [01:07.88] [01:10.69]Seldom do you see [01:12.87] [01:14.43]Honest men like me [01:16.62] [01:17.38]A gent of good intent [01:20.43]Who's content to be [01:22.99] [01:24.43]Master of the house [01:25.74]Doling out the charm [01:26.98]Ready with a handshake [01:28.23]And an open palm [01:29.87]Tells a saucy tale [01:31.37]Makes a little stir [01:32.76]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur [01:34.94] [01:35.77]Glad to do a friend a favor [01:38.59]Doesn't cost me to be nice [01:40.90] [01:41.52]But nothing gets you nothing [01:43.15]Everything has got a little price! [01:46.08] [01:47.56]Master of the house [01:48.87]Keeper of the zoo [01:50.31]Ready to relieve 'em [01:51.67]Of a sou or two [01:53.16]Watering the wine [01:54.47]Making up the weight [01:55.97]Pickin' up their knick-knacks [01:57.41]When they can't see straight [01:59.03]Everybody loves a landlord [02:01.09] [02:01.73]Everybody's buxom friend [02:03.91] [02:04.54]I do whatever pleases [02:05.97]Jesus! won't i bleed 'em in the end! [02:07.97] [02:09.09]Master of the house [02:10.15]Quick to catch yer eye [02:11.59]Never wants a passerby [02:12.40]To pass him by [02:14.52]Servant to the poor [02:15.89]Butler to the great [02:17.27]Comforter philosopher [02:18.39]And lifelong mate! [02:19.76] [02:20.27]Everybody's boon companion [02:22.13] [02:22.95]Everybody's chaperone [02:24.57] [02:25.82]But lock up your valises [02:27.44]Jesus! won't i skin you to the bone! [02:29.26] [02:30.63]Food beyond compare [02:31.82]Food beyond belief [02:33.25]Mix it in a mincer [02:34.68]And pretend it's beef [02:36.21]Kidney of a horse [02:37.72]Liver of a cat [02:39.09]Filling up the sausages [02:40.42]With this and that [02:41.60]Residents are more than welcome [02:44.05] [02:44.74]Bridal suite is occupied [02:46.75] [02:47.69]Reasonable charges [02:49.14]Plus some little extras on the side! [02:51.84] [02:53.65]Charge 'em for the lice [02:54.97]Extra for the mice [02:56.35]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice [02:59.17]Here a little slice [03:00.67]There a little cut [03:01.42]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut [03:05.16]When it comes to fixing prices [03:06.97] [03:07.91]There are a lot of tricks he knows [03:10.03] [03:10.84]How it all increases [03:12.52]All those bits and pieces [03:13.77]Jesus! it's amazing how it grows! [03:15.98] [03:26.59]I used to dream [03:27.96]That i would meet a prince [03:29.77] [03:31.14]But god almighty [03:32.38] [03:34.13]Have you seen what's happened since? [03:36.72] [03:38.86]Master of the house? [03:40.84] [03:41.52]Isn't worth me spit! [03:43.33] [03:43.90]'comforter philosopher' [03:46.33]- and lifelong ****! [03:48.14] [03:49.20]Cunning little brain [03:50.76] [03:51.45]Regular voltaire [03:53.44] [03:54.13]Thinks he's quite a lover [03:56.56]But there's not much there [03:58.88] [03:59.56]What a cruel trick of nature [04:01.93] [04:03.30]Landed me with such a louse [04:05.99] [04:06.86]God knows how i've lasted [04:07.63]Living with this **** in the house! [04:10.20] [04:11.70]Master of the house! [04:12.76]Master and a half! [04:14.07]Comforter philosopher [04:15.75]Ah don't make me laugh! [04:17.00]Servant to the poor [04:18.74]Butler to the great [04:19.62]Hypocrite and toady [04:20.92]And inebriate! [04:22.30] [04:23.11]Everybody bless the landlord! [04:24.98] [04:25.73]Everybody bless his spouse! [04:28.54]Everybody raise a glass [04:30.80] [04:31.43]Raise it up the master's **** [04:33.81] [04:34.81]Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!