Master of the House-Various Artists

[00:05.41]Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down [00:09.94]And meet the best innkeeper in town [00:15.28]As for the rest, all of 'em crooks: [00:18.49]Rooking their guests and crooking the books [00:23.89]Seldom do you see [00:27.60]Honest men like me [00:30.54]A gent of good intent [00:33.13]Who's content to be [00:37.31]Master of the house, doling out the charm [00:40.93]Ready with a handshake and an open palm [00:44.37]Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir [00:47.73]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur [00:51.16]Glad to do a friend a favor [00:54.63]Doesn't cost me to be nice [00:57.79]But nothing gets you nothing [00:59.48]Everything has got a little price! [01:04.28]Master of the house, keeper of the zoo [01:07.48]Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two [01:10.84]Watering the wine, making up the weight [01:14.22]Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight [01:17.54]Everybody loves a landlord [01:20.77]Everybody's bosom friend [01:23.93]I do whatever pleases [01:25.66]Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end! [01:28.93]Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye [01:32.50]Never wants a passerby to pass him by [01:35.68]Servant to the poor, butler to the great [01:38.85]Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! [01:41.96]Everybody's boon companion [01:45.07]Everybody's chaperone [01:48.33]But lock up your valises [01:49.98]Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone! [01:55.63]Enter Monsieur, lay down your load [01:59.87]Unlace your boots, rest from the road [02:04.89]This weighs a ton, travel's a curse [02:08.35]But here we strive to lighten your purse [02:13.65]Here the goose is cooked [02:17.33]Here the fat is fried [02:20.10]And nothing's overlooked [02:22.79]Till I'm satisfied [02:26.76]Food beyond compare. [02:28.92]Food beyond belief [02:30.35]Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef [02:33.61]Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat [02:37.14]Filling up the sausages with this and that [02:40.27]Residents are more than welcome [02:43.64]Bridal suite is occupied [02:47.05]Reasonable charges [02:48.53]Plus some little extras on the side! [02:52.50]Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice [02:56.85]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice [03:00.01]Here a little slice, there a little cut [03:03.16]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut [03:06.63]When it comes to fixing prices [03:09.71]There are a lot of tricks he knows [03:12.82]How it all increases, all them bits and pieces [03:15.77]Jesus! It's amazing how it grows! [03:18.92]Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye [03:22.41]Never wants a passerby to pass him by [03:25.57]Servant to the poor, butler to the great [03:28.63]Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! [03:31.85]Everybody's boon companion [03:34.97]Gives 'em everything he's got [03:38.33]Dirty bunch of geezers [03:39.62]Jesus! What a sorry little lot! [03:46.10]I used to dream that I would meet a prince [03:50.24]But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since? [03:55.91]Master of the house? [03:57.48]Isn't worth me spit! [03:59.07]Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit! [04:02.53]Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire [04:05.86]Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there [04:09.22]What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse [04:15.71]God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house! [04:20.91]Master of the house! [04:22.82]Master and a half! [04:24.70]Comforter, philosopher [04:26.13]Ah, don't make me laugh! [04:27.87]Servant to the poor, butler to the great [04:30.94]Hypocrite and toady and inebriate! [04:34.19]Everybody bless the landlord! [04:37.60]Everybody bless his spouse! [04:40.45]Everybody raise a glass [04:43.66]Raise it up the master's arse [04:46.73]Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!