Mansion-NF/Fleurie

[00:00.38]Insidious is blind inception
尔虞我诈是盲目的开端 [00:03.80]What's reality with all these questions?
在这所有的问题下真相又为何物？ [00:06.69]Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)
感觉像是我错过了清醒的时刻并沉睡下去（昏睡） [00:13.30]Broken legs but I chase perfection
步履蹒跚却仍旧追逐完美的人生 [00:16.37]These walls are my blank expression
这些墙壁好比我茫然失若的面目 [00:19.66]My mind is a home I'm trapped in
我的大脑是将自己围困的屋子 [00:22.85]And it's lonely inside this mansion
只身孤影游荡在这间大宅里头 [00:31.77]Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in lyrics
我的大脑就像一间以词为墙的房屋 [00:34.96]They're all over the place, there's songs in the mirrors
它们无处不在，无数歌曲存于镜面之中 [00:38.37]Written all over the floors, all over the chairs
歌词写满了地板，绘尽了所有桌椅 [00:41.43]And you get the uncut version of life when I go downstairs
当我走下楼，你会看到我未删减的人生经历 [00:44.72]That's where I write when I'm in a bad place and need to release
每当我境遇不加需要释放时就是在那将回忆逐一记载 [00:47.81]And let out the version of NF you don't want to see
然后放映出NF的一面，你不会想看见这段记忆 [00:50.95]I put holes in the walls with both of my fists 'til they bleed
我用双拳不断击打墙壁直到两只手都流出鲜血 [00:54.19]You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me
你也许能够一睹我处理自己心中愤怒的方式 [00:57.47]Physically abused, now that's the room that I don't want to be in
这是“虐待之室”，那房间是我最不想进入的地方【NF被母亲离婚后结交的男友虐待】 [01:00.45]That picture ain't blurry at all, I just don't want to see it
那折磨的情景没模糊过，我真的一眼都不想再看到 [01:03.68]And these walls ain't blank, I just think I don't want to see 'em
四周的墙毫无空处，我只是觉得自己不会愿意见到它们 [01:06.66]But why not? I'm in here, so I might as well read 'em
为什么拒绝呢？既然来到了，那我就不如好好看一番 [01:10.38]I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around
我还得因为这化为动力的愤怒好好感谢你 [01:13.22]Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground
真希望我能点着一根火柴把这整间房子焚为焦土 [01:16.33]Matter of fact I think Ima burn this room right now
事实上我想现在马上就把这房间烧毁掉 [01:19.56]Somehow this memory for some reason just won't come down
不知何故这段痛苦的记忆就是不肯消停 [01:22.95]You used to put me in the corner, so you could see the fear in my eyes
你过去常把我逼到墙角，这样你就能看到我眼里的畏惧 [01:26.09]Then took me downstairs and beat me 'til I screamed and I cried
然后把我抓下楼梯狠狠地殴打我直到我哭吼交加 [01:29.21]Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind
真是可喜可贺，你会一直占据我记忆中的一角 [01:32.36]But Ima keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside
可我还要关好房门再附上歌词锁在一块 [01:36.85]Insidious is blind inception
尔虞我诈是盲目的开端 [01:39.85]What's reality with all these questions?
在这所有的问题下真相又为何物？ [01:43.01]Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)
感觉像是我错过了清醒的时刻并沉睡下去（昏睡） [01:49.26]Broken legs but I chase perfection
步履蹒跚却仍旧追逐完美的人生 [01:52.54]These walls are my blank expression
这些墙壁好比我茫然失若的面目 [01:55.81]My mind is a home I'm trapped in
我的大脑是围困自我的屋子 [01:59.22]And it's lonely inside this mansion (inside this mansion)
只身孤影游荡在这间大宅里头（在这屋中） [02:05.02]Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in pain
我的大脑像一间房子，墙壁贴满了痛楚 [02:07.78]See my problem is I don't fix things
我的问题所在是我没半点行动 [02:09.92]I just try to repaint, cover 'em up, like it never happen
我只会竭力地粉刷保护色，将它们掩盖，仿佛没有发生过 [02:12.85]Say I wish I could change. Are you confused?
我也希望自己能作出改变。你感到不理解？ [02:15.10]Come upstairs and I'll show you what I mean
来到楼上，我会让你明白我所说的话 [02:17.44]This room's full of regrets, just keeps getting fuller it seems
这间房里充满了悔恨，始终都充满了懊恼之感 [02:20.32]The moment I walk in to it is the same moment that I wanna leave
刚走进这房间的一刹那我马上就想要离开 [02:23.73]I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things
每次看到这些东西我便感到不适隐隐作吐 [02:26.84]But it's hard to look past when this is the room where I sleep
可当这房间是我入睡的地方时根本没可能视而不见 [02:30.16]I look around. One of the worst things I wrote on these walls
向四周望去，我记录在墙上最糟糕的事情 [02:33.30]Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom
是我意识到自己失去了母亲的那瞬间【NF母亲因滥用药物致死】 [02:36.50]And one of the first things I wrote was I wish I would have called
我写的最重要的一条是希望当初有给妈妈打过电话 [02:39.71]But I should just stop now, we ain′t got enough room in this song
但是我该马上停下来，这首歌的容量已经所剩无几 [02:43.07]And I regret the fact that I struggled trying to find who I am
我感到后悔不及因为自己不断挣扎着试图想找回自我 [02:46.06]And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can
我欺骗自己说一定会竭尽我的全力 [02:49.22]Shrug it off like it ain't nothing like it’s out of my hands
不以为然假装得仿佛自己已经就无能为力 [02:52.42]Then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans
然后每次看到这样做的后果影响了自己计划时变得暴躁 [02:56.37]And I regret watching these trust issues eat me alive
我非常后悔眼睁睁看着信任危机感将自己吞噬 [02:59.28]And at the rate I'm going they'll probably still be there when I die
按照这样的想法活着也许到我死时这种感觉还会存在 [03:02.22]Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind
真是可喜可贺，你们会一直占据我记忆中的一角 [03:05.30]The question is: Will I ever clean the walls off in time?
问题是：以后我会将墙上记下的东西清除掉吗？ [03:09.58]Insidious is blind inception
尔虞我诈是盲目的开端 [03:12.77]What's reality with all these questions?
在这所有的问题下真相又为何物？ [03:15.81]Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)
感觉像是我错过了清醒的时刻并沉睡下去 [03:21.70]Broken legs but I chase perfection
步履蹒跚却仍旧追逐完美的人生 [03:25.54]These walls are my blank expression
这些墙壁好比我茫然失若的面目 [03:28.63]My mind is a home I'm trapped in
我的大脑是将自己围困的屋子 [03:32.09]And it's lonely inside this mansion (inside this mansion)
只身孤影游荡在这间大宅里头（在这屋中） [03:37.49]So this part of my house, no one's been in it for years
所以我这间“心房”，已经好些年没有人进去过 [03:40.52]I built the safe room and I don't let no one in there
我造了安全室并且抵挡住所有人不让他们进来 [03:43.76]Cause if I do, there's a chance
因为只要我这样做了 [03:45.46]That they might disappear and not come back
他们才有可能消失眼前不再出现 [03:48.06]And I admit I am emotionally scared to let anyone inside
我承认自己太神经过敏，害怕让任何人走进心里 [03:51.54]So I just leave my doors locked
所以我让自己的心门紧闭 [03:53.26]You might get other doors to open up but this doors not
你也许能找出另一扇能打开的门但这一扇不可能 [03:56.24]Cause I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me
因为我不想给你任何一次伤害到我的机会 [03:59.33]And I'll be the only person that I can blame when you desert me
当你将我遗弃，我就会成了唯一会被责怪的人 [04:02.51]I'm barricaded inside
我在心里设下路障 [04:04.06]So stop watching
别再窥探观望 [04:05.58]I'm not coming to the door
我不可能会给你开门 [04:07.17]So stop knocking, stop knocking
别再敲了，给我停下来！ [04:09.62]I'm trapped here
我已受困于此 [04:11.10]God keep saying I'm not locked in
上帝一直说我并没有被锁起 [04:12.89]I chose this
是我作茧自缚 [04:13.92]I am lost in my own conscience
我在自己的良知里迷失方向 [04:16.29]I know that shutting the wall down ain't solving the problem
我很清楚把世界阻挡在外根本于事无补 [04:18.92]But I didn't build this house because I thought it would solve ′em
可我没有筑起这间房子因为我觉得这样能将问题解决 [04:22.17]I built it because I thought that it would be safer in there
我将它筑起因为我觉得这样可以让我更安心地待在这里面 [04:25.20]But it's not, I'm not the only thing that's living in here
事实却相反，我并不是唯一居于这里的家伙 [04:28.55]Fear came to my house years ago I let 'em in
多年前我让恐惧来到我这心房 [04:31.70]Maybe that's the problem
也许那才是问题所在 [04:32.82]Cause I've been dealing with this ever since
因为我从那时起一直都在与之斗争 [04:35.01]I thought that he would leave, but it's obvious he never did
本以为它会离开，但很显然它不会移开半步 [04:37.94]He must have picked the room and got comfortable and settled in
它肯定已经选好了一间房然后在里面安适地扎了根 [04:41.38]Now I'm in the position it's either sit here and let him win
现在我只有要么坐以待毙，或让它任意妄为 [04:44.48]Or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can
或是将它赶回原来的地方，然而我没任何胜算 [04:47.33]Cause in order to do that I'd have to open the doors
因为一旦那样做我就不得不把心门敞开 [04:50.97]Is that me or the fear talking?
到底是我还是恐惧感在说话？ [04:53.10]I don't know anymore
连我自己也搞不清了