Covet

[00:00.31]Do you worry that nobody likes you?
在担心没人喜欢你吗？ [00:03.60]We'll provide you with friends.
我们会给你带去友爱 [00:05.72]Kifflom. I'm the honorable Chris Formage.
基辅隆（该教问候语）~在下正是万人敬仰的克里斯·佛米吉 [00:09.39]Covet your neighbor's ass no longer.
汝不可觊觎邻居之翘臀 [00:12.35]The Epsilon Program seeks out
埃普西隆教包含了 [00:14.15]the convenient bits from every faith to create
其他宗教的各种元素 [00:16.79]a religion that is uniquely American:
且最符合美利坚核心价值观： [00:19.50]expensive, promiscuous, and entirely meaningless.
纸醉金迷、人尽可骑、虚无主义 [00:24.07]And unlike other major religions,
而且不像别的黑心宗教 [00:25.97]we only tithe 8.75 percent.
你只需要上缴总收入的8.75%而已 [00:28.79]That means less for God, and more for you.
主仁慈的少收一些，慷慨的多施舍你一些 [00:31.78]All you have to do is
你只需要 [00:33.10]read and understand the Epsilon Tract,
认真阅读体会埃普西隆章程 [00:35.32]and the secrets of the Universe
那么，宇宙的奥秘 [00:37.03]will be open to you.
就自然会向你呈现 [00:38.60]Just call 1-866-FUN-CULT.
详情致电1-866-FUN-CULT