I'm Bo Yo-Bo Burnham

[00:00.000] [00:13.894] I don't know if all boy scouts are gays [00:15.739] They could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways [00:18.573] Got a safe full o' cherries, 'cause I pop it and lock it [00:21.335] A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock it [00:23.603] Girl, if you're into rimmin', it's only safe if you're swimmin' [00:25.933] But girl, don't sit on that couch, 'cause I treat my objects like women [00:29.046] I spit fire like I just blew a demon [00:30.844] My ****'s so hot I'll leave your toilet bowl steamin' [00:33.994] I'm gonna tear it, like the cards of the gypsies [00:35.731] You'll bleed for so long you'll get monthly ellipses [00:38.634] And if your pants are loose, I'll replete ya [00:40.635] You're a first time vegan and it's nice to meet ya [00:43.046] I'm Bo yo [00:44.095] I'm the greatest rapper ever [00:45.273] And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not [00:47.717] Think you're better, you're not [00:48.691] Don't need a sweater, I'm hot [00:50.012] I'm a real G, shawty, that can really find your G-spot [00:52.776] Whoa, yeah [00:54.942] Hey...what the ****'s a G-spot? [01:00.565] Go to a vagina orchard, count 1, 2, 3 [01:03.453] Spin that plant around, you got a third world country [01:06.352] That's right, consider yourself warned [01:08.075] I'm offensive and creative like handicapped porn [01:10.416] You're playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am? [01:12.943] You're pushin' em together like a titty Venn diagram [01:15.551] Look at that crack! Excuse me can I buy a gram? [01:17.442] Right below your diaphragm, ass looks like you're hidin' ham [01:20.133] First base, we're makin' out [01:22.022] Second base, I'm gettin' faked out [01:24.011] I said, third base, I'm gettin' take out [01:26.367] And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out [01:28.717] But I just don't know, I said I just don't care [01:30.981] I said my flow's so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear [01:33.926] And you can spell and smell my stink [01:35.728] B.O. lingers and it makes you think [01:37.751] 'Cause I'm Bo yo [01:38.848] And I'm the greatest rapper ever [01:40.091] And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not [01:42.537] Think you're better, you're not [01:43.671] Don't need a sweater, I'm hot [01:44.777] I'm a real G, shawty, that can really find your G-spot [01:47.461] Whoa, yeah [01:49.516] Provided that you point me in the general direction [01:53.712] Well, get ready [01:56.139] 'Cause girls are like donuts when I be bustin' Bo nuts [01:58.597] I can make 'em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze [02:00.655] I'm like Doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her [02:02.826] Because I skeet her so hard you call her Patty Mayonnaise [02:05.725] (Oh! Nickelodeon and cum!) [02:08.397] (What?) [02:09.633] Yo, I'm blowin' up like I thought I would [02:12.035] I'm circumcised, 'cause I don't cum from the hood [02:14.533] My girl is epileptic 'cause she's the one I'm jerkin' with [02:16.862] Come on, you Asian child laborer, show me what you're workin' with... (ooh, large machinery?) [02:23.215] 'Cause there's an inverse relationship between respect and sects [02:26.077] I'm talking about religious sects like a Mormon sect [02:28.166] That says you can't have *** with members of the different sects [02:30.488] But you can't have *** with members of the same *** [02:32.745] So if the sects can't be different, the *** can't be same [02:34.953] Then the only *** left is some left hand shame [02:37.556] And girl I left you 'cause you left the game [02:39.591] And if that don't feel right then you can write my name [02:41.816] 'Cause I'm Bo yo [02:42.857] And I'm the greatest rapper ever [02:44.168] And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not [02:46.487] Think you're better, you're not [02:47.583] Don't need a sweater, I'm hot [02:48.953] I'm a real G that can really find your G spot [02:51.623] Whoa, yeah [02:53.685] Oh, but I'm inadequate [02:55.511] Have I gotten that point across yet? (how original) [02:59.704] Yo, my junk's so long that it hangs and swings [03:02.413] So at the nude beach people think I'm lookin for lost rings [03:05.013] Play the skin flute, your big boy sings [03:06.955] If you want to take it all wear African neck rings [03:09.549] (They make your neck longer, cause, um um... **** it.) [03:14.040] Haters call me gay, but that ain't hatin' [03:16.127] Cause I'm not homophobic, my morals are straight, and [03:18.601] If I'm in the closet then you are below me [03:20.647] Takin' the b-a-t out of basement, homie, yeah [03:24.345] Yo, yeah, what [03:26.262] 'Cause I'm Bo yo [03:27.519] And I'm the greatest rapper ever [03:28.591] And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not [03:31.193] Think you're better, you're not [03:32.217] Don't need a sweater [03:33.296] I'm a real G, that can really find your what now? [03:36.157] Oh, yeah, well I'm Bo yo, yo, what [03:39.858] I'm representing you [03:41.656] I'm representing the people from the 01982, yo [03:45.128] Oh, yeah, what [03:48.628] Yo, ************, tinkle [03:51.238] Yeah