Love Is…-Bo Burnhammp3下载无损flac下载
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[00:00.00] Uhm, so this next song is about love, appropriately.
[00:09.15]I love you like kings love queens,
[00:11.94]Like a gay geneticist loves designer genes [jeans].
[00:16.11]I need you like New Orleans needs a drought,
[00:18.15]Like Hitler's father needed to learn to pull out.
[00:20.91]And I want you, yeah,
[00:22.65]Like a lawyer-slash-mathematician wants some kind of proof.
[00:25.38]And I want you, yeah,
[00:27.15]Like JFK wanted
[00:30.33]A car with a roof.
[00:35.19]Because love is taking that dive,
[00:37.89]Then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool.
[00:40.41]And love is a real-life porn,
[00:43.05]Minus all the stuff that makes porn cool.
[00:45.24]And love is a homeless guy, searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and,
[00:50.52]Finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and,
[00:55.38]Even though he's heart broken, he can't complain 'cause he was hungry in the first place.
[01:03.90]Because I love you like Dora loves maps,
[01:06.63]Like the Pope's toilet loves holy craps. (Just's a little one.)
[01:12.60]I need you like a voyeur needs a branch,
[01:14.64]Like boys tossing salad need a little bit of Neverland Ranch.
[01:21.48]And I want you, yeah,
[01:22.92]Like all the gothic kids that look exactly the same never want to conform.
[01:27.12]And I want you like Anne Frank wanted
[01:31.02]Nobody to read her ****ing diary.
[01:34.50]'Cause a diary is a collection of secret things that no one's supposed to read, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people that breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis; kick her while she's down.
[01:45.93]And if we met in 10,000 BC,
[01:48.54]I was your caveman, you's my cavelady.
[01:51.45]If we got hot, we'd start rubbing,
[01:55.59]If we got hungry, we'd go clubbing.
[01:57.84]There's woolly mammoths, but I will protect us,
[02:00.09]You're making me devolve to a homo erectus, mother****er.
[02:03.87]And if we met in 1780,
[02:06.03]I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark-skinned servant lady...slave.
[02:14.70]Whenever I could get away from the missus,
[02:16.50]I go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses.
[02:19.02]But let's be serious, I'd still work you full-time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socio-economic trends.
[02:28.38]And if we met in 1941,
[02:30.45]I was a Nazi, you's a Gypsy on the run (That's a little redundant).
[02:35.04]That... probably wouldn't have worked out.
[02:42.42]Because...
[02:43.56]Love is your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
[02:47.79]And love is the Holocaust, 'cept you don't die quick and you don't get thinner.
[02:52.44]And love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles,
[02:57.24]And even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape,
[03:02.07]Now you don't want to reduce it at all cause if the rape rate declines, you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales.
[03:08.91]Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles?
[03:13.74]Yeah, love is all about...
[03:20.10]Whistles. Thank you.
[03:29.94][Talking to Audience]
[03:32.52]Uh, that one was a bit vulgar, but uh, you know, mother****ers and mother****ers are sorta like Coke and Pepsi, you know? Ah, I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same.