Friends S09E05-英语听力

[00:01.66]Oh, hey, you guys? [00:03.06]I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday.. [00:06.07]so we'll have to do dinner Thursday night. [00:08.40]- Thursday? But that's Halloween. - So? - [00:13.71]It's just spooky, that's all. [00:16.81]So, is Mike coming to dinner? [00:18.78]No. It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. [00:22.72]I'd get mad at him, but I think it's too soon to show my true colors. [00:28.49]I would make the reservation for five. One of us has to stay with Emma. [00:32.16]- Which one of us should go to dinner? - Rachel! - [00:36.63]Actually, I was thinking maybe both of us could go. [00:40.87]Oh. Yeah. [00:43.74]Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift. [00:47.91]All right, so great, we can all go now. [00:50.28]That is fun! Hey! You know what? [00:52.91]We all haven't been together, the six of us, in such a long time. [00:56.82]What are you talking about? We're together now. [00:59.25]Mon? Chandler's not here. [01:05.53]Oh, dear God. [01:08.60]The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner [01:54.31] [01:56.31]Hello. It's nice to see our team together for the first time. [01:59.45]Now, before we get started, are there any questions? [02:03.05]- Yes. Ken, is it? - That's right. [02:04.95]Is it true the reason you're in Tulsa is, you fell asleep in a meeting.. [02:08.49]and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to? [02:13.50]Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. [02:16.73]But yeah, that's true. [02:19.67]All right, let's get started by taking a look at last quarter's figures. [02:26.17]Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the boss's ass? [02:31.21]- I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you? - No. I smoked for years. Then I quit. - [02:37.22]Right now, I can't remember why. [02:40.32]You're not allowed to smoke in this office, right? [02:42.86]Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with 15 people or less. [02:46.59]- Would you like one? - Would Joey like two pizzas? - [02:52.60]You don't know what I'm talking about. [02:55.34]All right, look. I don't smoke anymore. [02:57.44]But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. [03:04.15]So, you all smoke, then? [03:06.65]You know, it's almost rude that I'm not smoking. [03:09.95]- That's not true. If you don't want.. - Ken, please! [03:15.62]No, I can't. I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me. [03:18.93]I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York? [03:23.23]I've always liked you, Ken. [03:31.54]Trick or treat. [03:35.84]- Hey. - And "treat" it is. [03:40.48]Wow. So glad I changed. [03:43.32]I almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts. [03:49.36]This is not what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating.. [03:51.63]and Chandler's gonna be home. So, I thought we would try before dinner. [03:56.50]Oh, I thought we'd all go over together. [03:58.43]All right, I'll just meet you there at dinner. [04:01.17]Unless, I mean, if it helps, I could stay and watch. [04:07.28]- No! - Well, I didn't want to anyway. - [04:09.84]You know, just thought I'd be polite and offer. [04:15.28]Wait, does this mean you'll be late? [04:17.19]We haven't seen each other in over a week. [04:19.25]We'll probably be the first ones there. [04:22.19]Okay. See you there. Happy humping. [04:26.49]Hey. Well, hey! [04:28.36]Wow, somebody smoked out here? [04:33.64]My God, don't people know you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces? [04:37.37]Actually, in Oklahoma smoking's legal in offices with fewer than 15 people. [04:43.71]Oh, you smoked. [04:45.71]No. I just happen to know a lot of trivia about smoking in different states. [04:50.62]For example, in Hawaii, cigarettes are called lei-lana-lukus. [04:56.59]- Oh, Chandler, you stink of cigarettes! - Do you think Monica will smell it? - [05:01.33]Are you kidding? That woman has the nose of a bloodhound. [05:05.03]And the breasts of a Greek goddess. [05:11.84] [05:14.64]I'm gonna go. [05:20.45]Okay. Something to cover the smell. [05:27.16]Oven cleaner. [05:34.10]Unscented. [05:38.20]Welcome home. [05:41.50]I've missed you. [05:43.87]- You want to join me in the bedroom? - No, thanks, I'm good. - [05:48.94]Okay. So you want to play it that way, do you? [05:53.65]Well, you know what, actually, I just got off a plane.. [05:56.45]so I'm feeling gross. I should take a shower. [05:58.95]- Come here, you don't need a shower. - All right, the truth is.. - [06:02.86]I soiled myself during some turbulence. [06:09.60]What do I smell? I smell smoke. [06:12.97]Did you smoke? [06:15.30]Yes. But I just had one. [06:18.34]Two. [06:19.97]Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. [06:24.41]A pack. Two pack.. A carton. [06:28.48]Three big fat cartons in two days! [06:32.75]But it's over. I've made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore. [06:40.13]Well, those are for you. [06:43.93]All right. Well, we'll just see you when you get here. Bye. [06:48.20]Oh, that was my mom. She's stuck in terrible traffic. [06:51.34]That is now the third sign that I should not leave Emma. [06:54.28]- What are the other two? - Well, the first one is, I don't want to. - [06:57.48]And second one, I'm not going. [07:01.18]I know this is the first time we're leaving the baby. [07:03.89]I know how hard it is for you. But.. [07:06.09]But everything's gonna be fine. I mean, my mom is gonna be with her. [07:09.39]- She's great with kids. - She is? - [07:11.73]Yeah. [07:14.16]What about Monica? [07:15.80]You only hear Monica's side of that. Okay, that little fatso was a terror! [07:22.70]- I just don't think I can do it. - Know what? You can and you should. - [07:27.48]Really, it will be good for you. [07:29.61]In fact, you know what? [07:31.25]Go ahead to the restaurant, and I will wait for my mom.. [07:34.08]and then I'll meet you there. No, no, really, you should go. Go out. [07:37.95]Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up your heels. Paint the town red! [07:45.33]- You need to learn some new slang. - I'm serious. Come on, you should go. - [07:49.93]Here. No, just go. [07:52.93]- Well.. - No, no! You know what? [07:55.07]You're not getting back in there! The baby's fine. Now, scram! [08:00.24]Yeah, hit the bricks! [08:03.74]Tell your story walking! [08:07.52]I was just going to say that I left my keys. [08:13.82]Holy moley, are we in a pickle now! [08:20.63]Where is everyone? They're 40 minutes late. [08:24.20]- I know. - I'm starving. - [08:26.33]I knew we were coming here tonight. I ate nothing all day. [08:29.24]What about me? I only had one lunch today. [08:33.14]So, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly? [08:36.24]Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah. [08:38.75]Their arrival is in the offing. [08:42.78]Right. We have a table for two available. [08:44.99]- Perhaps you'd.. - No, they're coming. - [08:46.82]We're waiting right here. [08:49.26]Joseph! [08:52.83]One needn't worry. They shan't be long. [08:56.30]It's just that we do have some large parties waiting. [08:59.93]Oh, one really does have a stick up one's ass, doesn't one? [09:06.44]Why would you start smoking again? It's so bad for you. [09:09.91]It's only been two days. That's not enough time to.. [09:15.78]That's totally unrelated. [09:18.72]How can you smoke in this day and age? Have you not seen that ad? [09:22.09]Where the little kid walks through Grandpa? It's chilling! [09:26.03]I messed up. It was a meeting. Everybody was smoking. [09:29.06]So what? Don't you have any willpower? [09:31.40]Willpower? I've watched home movies of you eating Ding Dongs.. [09:34.47]without taking the tinfoil off! … [09:38.57]You said that was ***y! [09:42.81]Okay, look, can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again. [09:46.58]That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again. [09:49.32]You forbid me? [09:51.55]I've flown a long way to see my loving wife. [09:53.96]Is she here, by the way? [09:56.09]Chandler, don't joke with me. Okay? I'm very, very upset right now. [10:02.26]- Is this the most upset you could be? - I think so. - [10:05.47]Well, then I might as well.. [10:07.77]do this. [10:19.91]Not really sure what to do now. [10:23.95]I'll tell you what we're gonna do. [10:26.62]We're already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner. [10:29.36]So you're going to put out that cigarette.. [10:31.53]we're gonna put this fight on hold, and go have ***. [10:34.50]Fine. What? [10:37.53]What, do you have cigarettes in your ears? [10:40.87]***! This is the last day I'm ovulating. If we don't do it.. [10:43.87]we're gonna have to wait until next month! [10:46.71]You're serious? [10:48.88]- Oh, yeah! - All right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking! [10:52.61]- And no cuddling. - And no kissing your neck. - [10:55.75]Oh, good! I hate it when you do that! [11:00.96]And lots of kissing your neck! [11:05.09]Okay, well, the super's not home. [11:06.96]But my mother's gonna be here, and she has the key. [11:09.73]I can't wait that long. You have to do something. Knock that door down! [11:13.17]I would, but I bruise like a peach. [11:17.77]Besides, you know, everything's gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping. [11:21.91]- What if she jumps out of the bassinet? - Can't hold her head up, but jumped. - [11:27.18]Oh, my God! I left the water running! [11:29.28]You did not leave the water running. Please, pull yourself together, okay? [11:33.39]- Well, did I leave the stove on? - You haven't cooked since 1996. - [11:38.16]Is the window open? If the window's open a bird could fly in and.. [11:41.80]My God, you know what? I think you're right. [11:44.00]- Listen. - What? What? [11:45.47]A pigeon. No. No, wait, no. An eagle flew in! [11:51.04]Landed on the stove and caught fire! [11:56.18]The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. [12:02.28]The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression.. [12:05.42]and grabs the baby in its talon. [12:07.29]Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water. [12:10.69]Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death grip.. [12:14.36]swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment! [12:20.74]Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true. [12:27.71]- Hello. - Hi. [12:29.64]It's been an hour. [12:31.71]The maitre d' asked if you'd reconsider switching to a smaller table. [12:36.02]Maybe we should just eat now. [12:37.69]You can't order until the entire party's arrived. Restaurant policy. [12:41.52]Well, how about this? Another table leaves, right.. [12:44.59]but there's still some food left on their plates. [12:47.83]Okay, what's the restaurant's policy about people eating that? [12:51.50]- It's frowned upon. - But it happens. - [12:57.94]- All right, I got to go to the bathroom. - You can't go. - [13:00.64]No, no, no. I can't hold this table on my own. [13:03.01]If they ask me to move, I'll cave. [13:05.25]Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee. [13:13.35]Good evening, miss. [13:16.72]Miss? [13:20.76]Miss? Miss? [13:23.30]Okay, fine, I'll move. All right. You don't have to manhandle me. [13:28.90]- Where? - Okay. [13:32.91]Thank you. Wow. [13:36.34]Will you stop staring at us now? [13:38.41]That depends. Will your friend stop drinking olive oil directly from the bottle? [13:43.45]Probably not. [13:52.13]Finally. You guys made it. [14:01.97]Phoebe, who the hell..? [14:14.82]What is taking you so long, Come on, let's get it over with! [14:18.79]In a minute, sweet cakes. [14:21.39]Spend more time with the tie! That will make a baby. [14:25.63]Look, I can't do this. I can't make love to you while we're fighting this way. [14:30.13]Oh, sure. Now you're Mr. Sensitivity. [14:32.60]But when you wanted to have *** after my uncle's funeral.. [14:35.47]That was a celebration of life! [14:39.07]All right, I'm not gonna do this. [14:41.08]Is this the way you want our baby to be conceived? [14:44.98]No, you're right. [14:47.95]We shouldn't do it like this. [14:53.09]For what it's worth, I'm sorry. [14:55.96]I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking. [14:59.56]So you had a few cigarettes. It's not the end of the world. [15:03.63]- Really? - Yeah. [15:06.63]You are incredible. [15:08.90]And listen, I'm not gonna smoke again. [15:11.61]And if I do, I promise I will hide it so much better from you. [15:26.65]- Want to? - Let's celebrate life! [15:28.29]Okay! [15:31.99]Oh, God. [15:34.30]Oh, thank God you're okay. [15:36.40]I'm sorry we left. Mommy will never leave you again. [15:39.03]Never, ever, ever again. [15:42.44]Great. So let's get going. [15:45.64]I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving her again. [15:49.14]I understand. Separation is hard. [15:52.08]One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor. [15:56.25]And he got so upset he took off all his clothes.. [15:59.15]tucked his willy between his legs.. [16:02.59]and cried out, "Mommy, I'm a girl. Take me with you." [16:15.07]Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you. [16:24.48]You are welcome. [16:28.65]- You know what? Let's not talk. - What? - [16:32.09]- I am still so mad at you for smoking! - But you said you forgave me. - [16:35.69]It was just a couple of cigarettes, no big deal. [16:40.63]I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't have *** if we were fighting. [16:46.07]- You tricked me to get me into bed? - That's right. I got mine. - [16:54.27]I feel so used. [16:58.45]Well, I guess they're not coming. You want to just order? [17:02.58]Thank you. [17:07.96]Waiter? All right, this is gonna go fast, so try to keep up. [17:11.53]Risotto with shaved truffles and the rib steak.. [17:13.96]with the golden chanterelles and the Bordelaise sauce.. [17:16.83]unless any of that stuff I just said means "snails." [17:20.33]It does not. [17:22.40]Tomato tart, and which of the pastas would you recommend? [17:26.04]- Oh, well they're both exquisite.. - Both it is. Thank you. - [17:29.01]Now, let's go, baby. It's food time. Bring it, *****. [17:37.15]- Sorry about that. - It's quite all right. - [17:40.72]Oh, can I make a special request? [17:42.92]Can you bring everything as it's ready? [17:44.96]- Appetizers, entrees, we don't care. - Hey! [17:49.56]- I'll wait to put your order in. - What did I ever do to you? - [17:52.60]Nothing, *****. [17:58.97]You guys are over an hour late. [18:01.04]- What happened to you two? - So sorry. - [18:03.38]- We got locked out of the apartment. - That's a great story. Can I eat it? - [18:07.82]And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby. [18:10.88]It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I had to do. [18:14.62]And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma? [18:20.86]This is for the best. I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma.. [18:24.06]how she's doing at home, and I'm gonna be completely here with you. [18:27.90]- Oh, she spit up. She spit up. - What? [18:29.87]Judy? She spit.. Judy, look alive, Judy! [18:35.91]- Thank you. - Thanks. [18:40.38]Oh, everything looks delicious. [18:43.42]What should I have? What should I have? [18:47.39]Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman. [18:51.79]I know what you mean, this menu's incredible. [18:54.03]Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach. [18:58.07]Okay, I'll have the fig salad and the duck. [19:00.53]I'll have the soup and the salmon. [19:02.54]Remember, whatever comes up first, okay? [19:04.67]- Hurry.. - Happy birthday! [19:06.24]Son of a *****! [19:08.71]- Where have you been? - Well, we had a little fight. - [19:11.98]I would never lie to get someone into bed. [19:14.15]You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. [19:19.85]Thanks. [19:23.26]Thanks. Wow. [19:26.19]A little tight, isn't it? Why didn't you get a bigger table? [19:31.40]You had a big table but they made you move. [19:34.64]Shut up, Monica. [19:38.31]Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck. [19:43.61]And I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew. [19:49.58]How did I miss that? [19:52.82]- I'll give you another minute. - What, where you going? - [19:55.52]He said she wanted the shrew! [19:59.33]Rach, come on, Emma's fine. [20:01.33]You're turning into an obsessive mother, okay? You need to stop. [20:06.10]You ever hear the story about when Ross' mom went to the beauty salon? [20:12.17]- You mean the willy story? - They already know it. - [20:20.85]We've been waiting for you for a long time. [20:23.15]- You should order. - That's okay. - [20:24.82]- I told the waiter what they want. - Why would you do that? - [20:27.92]Chandler, control your woman. [20:31.06]Okay, well.. Everybody has ordered. [20:33.79]I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. [20:40.63]- She dropped her sock. - What? - [20:44.64]No. No, Emma dropped her sock. - [20:46.94]- How do you know that? - She's over there. - [20:48.61]- Mom's with her. - Mom's here? - [20:51.38]I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town. [20:55.78]She still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground. [20:59.02]It's a good toast. [21:01.52]Look, will you please get her attention? [21:04.99]Mommy? [21:11.60]Mother. [21:21.28]Oh, for God's sake, Judy, pick up the sock! [21:23.54]Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! [21:31.05]I'm sorry, was that rude? [21:34.35]Did my little outburst.. [21:37.36]blunt the hideousness that is this evening? [21:41.76]Look, I know you have a lot going on.. [21:43.80]but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. [21:49.87]And you are all so late, and you didn't even have the courtesy to call. [21:56.48]Well, it's too late now. [22:00.15]Phoebe, I don't think that's us. [22:03.32]Oh, well, this is.. This is not over! Hello? [22:09.32]I feel terrible. We should've been strong and left Emma at home. [22:13.69]"We"? [22:15.20]There are some adult willy stories they don't know. [22:18.17]We should've been stronger. [22:21.07]- What is going on with you two? - Well, you see, I'm ovulating. - [22:25.04]Oh, yeah, that's what she says. [22:29.01]Maybe you're not ovulating. Maybe it's a clever ruse to get me into bed. [22:34.15]Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was. I just can't get enough. [22:38.99]You're not gonna believe this. [22:40.85]She tricked me into having *** with her. [22:46.69]So? You got to have ***, right? [22:50.36]What's the matter with me? Why am I such a girl? [22:55.17]- Okay. That was Mike. - Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry. - [22:58.67]You are totally right. We are here 100 percent.. [23:02.04]and we love you, and we are ready to start your birthday celebration. [23:05.61]You guys, that means the world to me. [23:11.92]Okay, I'm gonna take off. [23:15.39]What? [23:16.86]I love you guys too, but, Mike got off work early. [23:19.39]Wait. [23:22.36]I'm not the.. I'm not the kind of girl that just ditches her friends.. [23:26.10]to be with her boyfriend. [23:28.57]You know what? I am. [23:30.77]Bye, guys. Judy! Bye. [23:35.64]If Phoebe's gone, can we take Emma home? [23:37.61]That's a good idea. Our babysitter just pounded another chardonnay. [23:41.88]- Bye, you guys. - Bye [23:43.28]See you. Well, I guess it's just us. [23:50.72]So, I'm probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try? [23:56.03]All right. [23:57.83]So, you've never had *** with a Kennedy, have you? [24:02.47]Actually, Richard was a Kennedy on his mother's side. [24:05.91]Why did you break up with that guy? [24:08.94]- You're gonna go do it? - We don't have much time. - [24:11.34]Once the egg descends into the fallopian tube.. [24:13.68]Oh, wait, oh, get out of here! [24:19.85]I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning. [24:23.42]No, just me. All alone. [24:30.26]Dinner for six for one. [24:33.77]Well, you boys are about to see something really special. [24:50.32]- How was everything? - Excellent. - [24:52.02]The shrew, in particular, was exquisite. [24:56.59]I hope you've got some room left. [25:06.80]Joey. Joey. [25:13.11]This is the best birthday ever!