Trapped in the Drive-Thru-Weird Al Yankovic

[00:21.91]Seven O＇Clock in the evening [00:23.45]Watchin somethin＇ stupid on TV [00:25.09]I＇m zoned out on the sofa [00:27.38]When my wife comes in the room and sees me [00:30.26] [00:30.47]She says ＂Is this ＇Behind the Music＇ [00:33.55]With Lynard Skynard?＂ [00:34.90]And I say ＂I don＇t know. [00:36.49]Say, it＇s gettin＇ late...watcha wanna do for dinner? [00:40.06] [00:40.52]She says ＂I kinda had a big lunch. [00:41.62]So I＇m not super hungry.＂ [00:44.56]I said ＂Well you know, baby, I＇m not starvin＇ either [00:46.73]But I could eat.＂ [00:47.72] [00:48.08]She said ＂So whadya have in mind?＂ [00:49.85]I said ＂I don＇t know what about you?＂ [00:52.19]She said ＂I don＇t care, if you＇re hungry, let＇s eat.＂ [00:54.89]I said ＂That＇s what we＇re gonna do!＂ [00:56.36] [00:56.75]＂But first you gotta tell me [00:58.41]What it is you＇re hungry for!＂ [01:00.57]And she says ＂Let me think... [01:02.89]...What＇s left in our refridgerator?＂ [01:04.93] [01:05.80]I said ＂Well, there＇s tuna, I know.＂ [01:07.66]She said ＂That went bad a week ago!＂ [01:09.94]I said ＂Is the chili OK?＂ [01:12.04]She said ＂You finished that yesterday!＂ [01:14.26] [01:14.77]I hopped up and I said [01:16.42]＂I don＇t know, do you want to get something delivered?＂ [01:18.73]She＇s like ＂Why would I want to eat liver? [01:21.64]I don＇t even like liver!＂ [01:23.53] [01:23.86]I＇m like ＂No, I said ＇delivered＇.＂ [01:26.23]She＇s like ＂I heard you say liver!＂ [01:27.91]I＇m like ＂I should know what I said...＂ [01:29.89]She＇s like ＂Whatever, I just don＇t want any liver!＂ [01:32.09] [01:32.53]Well I was gonna say something [01:34.39]But my cell phone started to ring [01:36.61]Now who could be callin＇ me? [01:38.60]Well I checked my caller ID [01:40.73] [01:41.15]It was just cousin Larry [01:42.94]Callin＇ for the third time today... [01:44.83]My wife said ＂Let it go to voicemail.＂ [01:47.92]I said, ＂OK.＂ [01:49.46] [01:50.21]＂Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right [01:52.27]So what d＇ya want to do?＂ [01:53.96]She said ＂Why don＇t you whip up somethin in the kitchen?＂ [01:56.44]＂Yeah,＂ I said, ＂Why don＇t you?＂ [01:58.54] [01:59.03]And then she said ＂Baby, can＇t we just go out to dinner, please?＂ [02:02.87]I says ＂No＂ [02:03.71]She says ＂Yes＂ [02:04.13]I says ＂No＂ [02:04.60]She says ＂Yes＂ [02:05.12]I says ＂No＂ [02:05.62]She says ＂Yes... [02:06.35]...Oh, here＇s your keys＂ [02:08.00] [02:08.21]I step a little bit closer [02:09.95]Say ＂OK, where ya want to go?＂ [02:11.86]She says ＂How about The Ivy?＂ [02:14.15]I said ＂Yeah, well I don＇t know...＂ [02:16.25] [02:16.70]I don＇t feel like gettin all dressed up [02:19.19]And eatin＇ expensive food [02:20.96]She＇s says ＂Olive Garden?＂ [02:23.05]I say ＂Nah, I＇m not in the mood... [02:25.13] [02:25.52]...And Burrito King would make me gassy [02:28.22]There＇s no doubt＂ [02:29.57]She says ＂Just forget about it＂ [02:31.81]I said ＂No, I swear I＇m gonna take you out!＂ [02:33.95] [02:34.55]Then I get an idea [02:36.65]I says ＂I know what we＇ll do!＂ [02:38.75]She says ＂What?＂ [02:39.50]I say ＂Guess＂ [02:39.74]She says ＂What?＂ [02:40.22]I say ＂We＇re goin＇ to the drive-thru!＂ [02:42.98] [02:43.49]So we head out the front door [02:45.11]Open the garage door [02:47.55]Then I open the car doors [02:49.97]And we get in those car doors [02:51.86] [02:52.31]Put my key in the ignition [02:53.99]And then I turn it sideways [02:56.21]Then we fasten our seat belts [02:58.40]As we pull out the driveway [03:00.81] [03:01.17]Then we drive to the drive-thru [03:02.91]Heading off to the drive-thru [03:05.13]We＇re approaching the drive-thru [03:07.32]Getting close to the drive-thru! [03:09.42] [03:09.81]Almost there at the drive-thru [03:11.70]Now we＇re here at the drive thru [03:13.83]Here in line at the drive-thru [03:16.08]Did I mention the drive-thru? [03:18.39] [03:27.67]Well here we are [03:29.19]In the drive-thru line, me and her. [03:31.71]Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. [03:34.68]All just waiting to order [03:36.04] [03:36.45]There＇s some idiot in a Volvo [03:38.19]With his brights on behind me [03:40.39]I lean out the window and scream [03:42.45]＂Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?＂ [03:45.16] [03:45.54]My wife says ＂Maybe we should park... [03:47.56]...We could just go eat inside.＂ [03:49.66]I said ＂I＇m wearin＇ bunny slippers [03:51.91]So I ain＇t leavin＇ this ride...＂ [03:54.13] [03:54.39]Now a woman on a speaker box [03:56.52]Is sayin＇ ＂Can I take your order, please?＂ [03:58.59]I said ＂Yes indeed, you certainly can [04:00.51]We＇d like two hamburgers with onions and cheese.＂ [04:02.82] [04:03.10]Then my wife says [04:04.62]＂Baby, hold on, I＇ve changed my mind! [04:07.26]I think I＇m gonna have a chicken sandwich [04:10.17]Instead, this time＂ [04:11.47] [04:12.09]I said ＂You always get a cheeseburger!＂ [04:13.80]She says ＂That＇s not what I＇m hungry for.＂ [04:16.11]I put my head in my hands and screamed, [04:18.33]＂I don＇t know who you are anymore!＂ [04:20.65] [04:21.12]The voice on the speaker says [04:22.84]＂I don＇t have all day!＂ [04:25.12]I said ＂Then, take our order, [04:26.94]And we＇ll be on our way! [04:29.56] [04:29.95]I wanna get a chicken sandwich [04:31.99]And I want a cheeseburger, too [04:34.09]She＇s like ＂You want onions on that?＂ [04:36.22]I＇m like ＂Yeah, I already said that I do... [04:38.29] [04:38.65]...Plus we need curly fries [04:40.62]And don＇t you dare forget it! [04:43.14]And two medium root beers [04:45.49]No, just one, we＇ll split it.＂ [04:47.65] [04:48.00]Then I said ＂I＇m guessin＇ that [04:49.69]You＇re probably not too bright... [04:52.03]So read me back my order [04:54.16]Let＇s make sure you got it right.＂ [04:56.02] [04:56.25]She says ＂One, you want a chicken sandwich. [04:58.51]Two, you want a cheeseburger [05:00.54]Three, curly fries, and a large root beer＂ [05:03.72]＂Stop, don＇t go no further!＂ [05:05.20] [05:05.49]＂I never ordered a large rootbeer [05:07.36]I said medium, not large!＂ [05:09.16]Then she says ＂We＇re havin＇ a special, [05:11.83]I supersized you at no charge.＂ [05:13.87] [05:14.17]＂Oh.＂ And that＇s all [05:16.91]I could say, was ＂Oh.＂ [05:18.11]And she says ＂Now there is somethin＇ else [05:20.24]That I really think you should know. [05:22.43] [05:22.94]You can have unlimited refills [05:24.86]For just a quarter more...＂ [05:26.78]I say ＂Great, except we＇re in the drive thru... [05:29.36]So what would I want that for?＂ [05:31.19] [05:31.61]Then she says ＂Wait a minute [05:33.62]Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul? [05:36.77]And my wife is all like ＂No, that ain＇t Paul, [05:39.41]Now tell me, who＇s this Paul? [05:41.25] [05:41.75]She says ＂Oh, he＇s just some guy [05:43.58]Who goes to school with me. [05:45.68]I sat behind him last year [05:47.81]And I copied off him in Geometry. [05:50.93]I said ＂I know a guy named Paul. [05:52.59]He used to be my plumber [05:54.72]He was prematurely bald [05:56.94]And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer. [05:59.07] [05:59.22]He also had bladder problems [06:01.35]And a really bad infection on his toe.＂ [06:03.24]And she said ＂Mister, please, you can stop right there, [06:06.01]That＇s way more than I needed to know!＂ [06:07.86] [06:08.14]And then we both were quiet [06:10.24]And things got real intense [06:12.46]Then she says ＂Next window please, [06:14.47]That＇ll be five dollars and eighty two cents.＂ [06:16.81] [06:17.01]So we inched ahead in line [06:19.00]Movin＇ painfully slow [06:20.98]I got a little bored [06:23.11]So I turned on the radio... [06:24.91] [06:25.34] [06:37.91] [06:41.79]Turned it off [06:42.93]Because my wife was getting a headache [06:45.42]So we both just sat there quietly [06:49.39]For her sake. [06:50.49] [06:50.94]Then I looked at her [06:52.15]And she looked back at me [06:54.46]And I said ＂Um, [06:56.46]I think you have somethin＇ in your teeth.＂ [06:58.86] [06:59.44]She turned away from me [07:01.11]And then turned back and said ＂Did I get it?＂ [07:03.63]I said ＂Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it... [07:06.87]But hey, ya know, don＇t sweat it.＂ [07:08.67] [07:08.94]Then she said ＂How about now?＂ [07:11.70]I said ＂Yeah, almost. [07:13.00]There＇s still a little bit there [07:15.18]But don＇t worry, it＇s probably just a piece of toast.＂ [07:17.31] [07:17.53]Now we＇re at the pay window [07:19.00]Or whatever you call it [07:21.21]Put my hand in my pocket [07:23.20]I can＇t believe there＇s no wallet! [07:25.42] [07:33.19]And the lady at the window＇s like, [07:34.38]＂Well, well that＇ll be five eighty two.＂ [07:38.53]I turn around to my wife, and say [07:41.40]＂How much have you got on you?＂ [07:43.47] [07:44.16]She just rolls her eyes and says [07:45.87]＂I＇ll pay for this, I guess.＂ [07:48.04]So she reaches into her purse [07:49.98]And pulls out the American Express [07:52.44] [07:52.65]I hand it to the lady [07:54.54]And she says ＂Oh, dear. [07:56.64]It＇s gotta be cash only [07:58.89]We don＇t take credit cards here.＂ [08:01.17] [08:01.45]I took back the card and said [08:03.42]＂Gee, really? Well that sucks.＂ [08:05.47]And that＇s when I found out [08:07.80]My wife was only carryin＇ three bucks. [08:10.18] [08:10.36]I said ＂I thought you were [08:12.46]Going to hit the ATM today＂ [08:15.19]She says ＂I never got around to it [08:17.43]So where＇s your wallet anyway? [08:18.94] [08:19.48]And I said ＂Nevermind, [08:20.92]Just help me to find some change...＂ [08:23.20]Now the lady at the window [08:25.17]Is lookin at me kinda strange... [08:27.46] [08:28.17]And she says ＂Mister, please, [08:30.04]We gotta move this line along＂ [08:32.32]I said ＂Now hold your stinkin＇ horses lady, [08:35.53]We won＇t be long.＂ [08:36.85] [08:37.12]We looked around inside the glove-box [08:39.07]And check the mat beneath my feet [08:41.53]I found a nickel in the ashtray [08:43.24]And a couple pennies and a dime in the space betweent he seats [08:45.52] [08:45.82]Before long I had a little pile [08:47.80]Of coins of every sort [08:50.17]The lady counts it up and says [08:52.30]＂You＇re still about a dollar short＂ [08:54.28] [08:54.70]And now my woman＇s got this weird look [08:56.92]Frozen on her face [08:58.54]She screams, ＂you know [09:00.34]I wasn＇t even really hungry in the first place＂ [09:03.25] [09:03.61]And so I turned around [09:05.35]To the cashier again [09:07.63]I shrugged and said ＂OK [09:09.79]Forget the chicken sandwich then＂ [09:12.05] [09:12.38]So I pick up my change [09:14.41]Pick up my reciept [09:16.40]And I drive to the pickup window [09:18.52]Man, I just can＇t wait to eat [09:20.68] [09:21.20]And now we see this acne ridden [09:23.20]Kid about sixteen [09:25.12]Wearin＇ a dorky nametag that says [09:27.80]＂Hello, my name is Eugene.＂ [09:29.72] [09:30.07]And he hands me a paper bag [09:32.23]I look him in the eyes [09:34.36]And I say to him ＂Hey, Eugene, [09:36.92]Can I get some ketchup for my fries?＂ [09:38.77] [09:38.95]Well he looks at me [09:40.90]And I look at him [09:43.34]And he looks at me [09:45.25]And I look at him [09:47.86] [09:48.22]And he looks at me [09:50.35]And I look at him [09:52.43]And he says ＂I＇m sorry [09:54.13]What did you want again?＂ [09:56.45] [09:56.77]I say ＂Ketchup!＂ [09:58.43]And he says ＂Oh yeah, that＇s right... [10:01.13]...I just spaced out there for a second [10:03.26]I＇m really kind of burnt tonight.＂ [10:05.27] [10:05.66]And then he hands me the ketchup [10:07.85]And now we＇re finally drivin＇ away [10:10.32]And the food is drivin＇ me mad [10:12.73]With its intoxicating bouquet [10:14.98] [10:15.70]I＇m starvin＇ to death [10:17.20]By the time we pull up at the traffic light [10:19.21]I say ＂Baby, gimme that burger, [10:22.07]I just gotta have a bite!＂ [10:23.99] [10:24.34]So she reaches in the bag [10:26.20]And pulls out the burger [10:28.49]And she hands me the burger [10:30.35]And I pick up the burger [10:32.33] [10:32.63]And then I unwrap the paper [10:35.30]I bite into those buns [10:37.77]And I just can＇t believe it [10:39.83]They forgot the onions! [10:44.42]