Campaign Speech-Eminem

[00:00.01]Jumped out of the 2 nd floor of a record store [00:02.75]With a treacherous four cassette and a cassette recorder [00:05.69]In Ecuador with Edward Norton [00:08.19]Witness the metamorphosis [00:09.45]Of a legend growing like an expert swordsman [00:11.83]From the hessian war and [00:13.01]Hence the origin of the headless horseman [00:15.05]Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan [00:18.13]Endless source and reservoir [00:20.62]Of extension cords in dresser drawers [00:22.21]And deadbolts on the bedroom doors [00:24.03]And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin [00:26.85]Excellent boyfriend [00:28.65]Use intercourse to settle scores [00:30.27]With women who have been vendettas towards men [00:32.11]Shithead is forced in 'til there's shredded foreskin [00:35.02]Reddish torn and they're only being fed a portion [00:37.70]Bed sores and sore shins [00:39.12]Pregnant whores can get abortions [00:40.79]Fetish for sticking metal forks in self absorption [00:43.49]Skeletor I went to hell and fell a floor [00:45.74]A predator I'm headed for competitors [00:48.00]Better warn 'em what I lack in tact and a set of morals [00:50.78]I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store [00:54.55]Stegosaurus chuck norris with a thesaurus [00:57.27]Yes of course a mess of warrants [00:59.00]You want some come and get some boys [01:00.61]I'm giving daniel pantaleo a refresher course [01:03.35]On excessive force and pressure points [01:05.42]And dressing george zimmerman in a fluorescent orange [01:07.72]Dress and four inch heels to address the court [01:09.94]With a bullseye on his back his whole chest and torso [01:12.18]Or left on the doorsteps of trayvon's dad as a present for him [01:17.28]In my present form I'm desert storm [01:19.42]Appetite for destruction there's no suppressant for [01:22.50]Aggressive forceful and less remorseful in every morsel [01:24.99]Unpleasant horrible hello gorgeous [01:27.08]The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus [01:31.02]Met a contortionist said when you wanna get sexual [01:34.32]She said however I fit in your schedule I'm flexible [01:37.96]Expired tags on the saturn got catherine bach [01:40.43]In the back in daisy dukes with the hazards on [01:43.66]At a traffic stop getting harassed sign an autograph [01:46.38]For this ****ing cop's daughter [01:48.00]Laugh 'cause I called her a brat on it [01:50.16]He spat on it and brought it back looking half in shock [01:53.05]Had a heart attack and dropped dead [01:54.86]Started falling back with it [01:56.30]And got slapped with a colin kaepernick practice sock [01:59.94]One ball and half a ****ing apple watch [02:02.99]Crack front axle walked in a bass pro shop with david hasselhoff [02:06.78]Pulled tabasco sauce out of my satchel [02:08.79]Knocked over a fisherman's tackle box and [02:12.27]Asked if they had a laughing stock [02:15.15]That was ****ing stupid [02:17.14]You got it twisted all 'cause I offered this bitch [02:19.77]A doggie biscuit you call me misogynistic [02:22.77]Bitch get to massaging this dick [02:24.51]Like spas in this bitch slob on it with gobs of lipstick [02:28.36]Got a shopping list for you to run some odds and ends with [02:31.42]It's not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with [02:34.38]She's non existent [02:36.15]Robin Thicke with a throbbing dick on some suave and slick shit [02:39.66]But I shout derogatives at niggas like ****ing missile launches [02:42.97]Misfit blond and nitwit [02:44.55]Like I've gone ballistic with a frosting tip kit [02:47.26]Screamed I hate blondes and became one I'm optimistic [02:51.68]Love to start shit [02:52.97]Shoving clark kent's undergarments in the glove compartment [02:55.85]Of the bucket bumping bubba sparxxx [02:57.84]I'm double parking up at targets trouble 'causer a double crosser [03:01.40]Shadiest mother****er you'll ever come acros [03:03.67]Olympic gymnast been known for some assaults [03:06.80]A couple lawsuits enough to cause a stomach ulcer [03:09.62]Same damn brain scan results as rainman's is [03:12.53]Something's off but when dusting hoffman's [03:14.71]Dressing up in your mummy costume [03:16.26]On stage dancing to brain damage what's the problem [03:19.12]Nothing's wrong the name brand is back to reclaim status [03:22.97]Run the faucet I'ma dunk [03:24.24]A bunch of trump supporters underwater [03:25.84]Snuck up on 'em in ray bans in a gray van with a spray tan [03:29.31]It's a wrap like an ace bandage [03:30.97]Don't give a **** persona to my last DNA stran [03:34.62]E j in the waistband at the vmas with the stagehand [03:38.20]She wants kielbasa pre arrange an escape plan [03:41.28]Three inch blade on point like a see and say [03:44.01]Consider me a dangerous man [03:45.80]But you should be afraid of this dang candidate [03:49.05]You say trump don't kiss ass like a puppet [03:51.45]'Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin' [03:54.40]And that's what you wanted [03:55.63]A ****ing loose cannon who's blunt with his hand on the button [03:58.22]Who doesn't have to answer to no one great idea [04:02.55]If I was president [04:04.58]Getting off is the first order of business [04:07.66]Once I get in office [04:09.56]Second thing that'll make me happy's walking up to uncle sam [04:13.13]Naked laughing shit cupped in hand [04:15.39]Screaming **** safe ass [04:16.73]Throw a latex and an aids test at him [04:18.69]Tell congress I run this land [04:20.63]And I want the rubber banned and make it snappy [04:24.33]Addiction to friction and static [04:26.04]Addict who can't escape the habit [04:27.72]Continue to chase the dragon [04:29.23]But as fate would have it I walked up in major magics [04:32.26]Dressed as the maintenance man [04:33.92]In a laser tag vest and a racing jacket [04:36.31]With a gauge to blast it [04:37.53]And sped away in the station wagon [04:39.64]Stacey dash's and casey anthony's [04:41.69]Crazy asses in the backseat [04:43.33]Throwing stayfree pads at me [04:45.32]Dead passenger in the passenger seat [04:47.41]Unfasten the safety latches [04:48.74]And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard [04:51.15]I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires [04:53.96]'Finna get a murder case and catch it [04:55.76]Like you threw it at me encased in plastic [04:59.13]And send dylan roof through the windshield of the benz [05:01.38]Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feeling [05:03.53]Like a windmiller with a thin build while his skin's peeling [05:06.43]And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar [05:08.34]Swing for the fence like prince fielder [05:10.05]Knock it into the upper peninsula [05:11.62]You wanna go against 'zilla the rap god [05:13.87]When will I quit never been realer [05:15.62]The in stiller of fear not even a scintilla of doubt [05:18.35]Whose pens iller than prince in a chinchilla [05:19.93]Or ben stiller in a suspense thriller [05:22.20]Revenge killer avenge syllable binge [05:24.13]Fill a syringe 'til I [05:25.78]Draw first blood [05:27.34]Even pop shit on my pop shit and it's popular [05:30.73]Couldn't be more awkwarder [05:32.35]Cause you're innocence I robbed you of [05:33.99]It's my fingers that got stuck up [05:35.83]Taught ya ta not give a [05:37.61]Slapstick hockey puck [05:39.47]The broad hunter with the sawed off [05:41.01]Like an arm when it's lopped off of ya [05:42.50]But I'm not gonna get the shotgun [05:44.06]Or the glock I'm gonna opt for the ox [05:45.86]Cause I'm into o**ects that are sharp when I shop [05:48.22]And it's not a shock I'm such an obnoxious mother****e [05:49.79]The rock hudson of rock 'cause who would have thought [05:51.56]This much of a ********** to go across the buttocks of [05:53.63]Vivica fox with a box cutter [05:57.13]That was for 50 little slap on the wrist be warned [05:59.74]I'm unrevealing quickly [06:01.08]My squabbles I'm grappling with your time traveling with me [06:04.66]Try and follow as I wobble relapse into history with a flask of the whiskey [06:09.45]Tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles [06:12.30]Like what happened to Chris reeves' spine column [06:15.40]That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems [06:18.51]Wish my chest wasn't having to get these rhymes off 'em [06:21.35]But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles [06:24.57]And why I haven't come back on these niggas who diss me is [06:27.13]More of a spectacular mystery than a ****ing Agatha Christie crime novel [06:32.25]But my patience is wearing thin [06:33.94]Swear I been contemplating rubbing shit in your face 'til I smear it i [06:37.47]Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen [06:39.81]And never appear again [06:41.23]If you actually had ****ing careers to en [06:44.77]But then I think of molly qerim and I steer 'em in that direction [06:47.98]And forget my ideas for them [06:51.05]Molly I'm gone off you [06:52.64]Man light some kush [06:54.19]You're my first take I'll nail you [06:56.09]Can't lie I gush [06:57.63]If I won you over you would be the grand prize [06:59.92]I'm entranced by your looks come and give the shady franchise a push [07:03.95]You can get it in the can like some anheuser busch [07:07.11]Jeans too small least three pant sizes tush [07:09.66]Mushed against your damn side your puss [07:11.64]And thighs are squished [07:13.50]What kind of attires that [07:15.15]I'm ready to be rode [07:16.52]Psychopath bet you we'll get it popping like a flat [07:20.43]Light the match to ignite the wrath [07:22.21]Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half [07:25.24]Piper chapmans might just have to picket me [07:28.37]Like a scab [07:30.29]Hard to describe in fact [07:31.69]Startling violent perhaps [07:33.02]Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that [07:36.44]And you aren't really surprised at that [07:38.25]But as far as these lines I rap [07:39.78]And these bars wouldn't dial it back if I star 69 ed the track [07:44.61]Why am I such a ****