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[00:00.000] 作词 : Steve Martin
[00:00.094] 作曲 : Steve Martin
[00:00.189]But I'll be honest with you.
我就跟大家直说了 [00:02.582]You probably read it in Screw Up Your Life Mag--
反正你估计也在“吃人”杂志看过 [00:05.236]I mean People's Magazine--anyway,
——我是说《时人》杂志——总之呢 [00:08.950]I used to smoke m*******a
我以前会飞 [00:19.047]but I tell you something.
但是 让我告诉你 [00:20.109]I would only smoke it in the late evening.
我只会在夜晚偏晚的时候飞 [00:23.566]Oh, occasionally the early evening,
偶尔在夜晚偏早的时候 [00:25.157]but usually the late evening or the mid-evening.
一般在夜晚偏晚的时候 或者夜晚不偏早不偏晚的时候 [00:28.614]So I just had the early evening, mid-evening
总结一下 只会在夜晚偏早的时候 夜晚不偏早不偏晚的时候 [00:33.924]and occasionally early afternoon or the mid-afternoon,
看情况 也会在下午偏早的时候 下午不偏早不偏晚的时候 [00:38.436]or perhaps the late mid-afternoon.
也有可能在下午偏晚的时候 [00:42.694]Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning,
会在早上偏早中晚早的时候 [00:46.412]but never at dusk, never at dusk. I would never do that.
但是绝对不会在黄昏 绝对不会 我不会做这种事情的 [00:51.453]Okay, hey Grandpa bought a rubber.
爷爷买了橡胶～ [01:06.771]I feel sorry for women and I'll tell you why.
我为女人们感到抱歉 给大家讲讲为什么 [01:09.699]Because so many men think they're into this weird sex
因为有很多男人都觉得自己喜欢玩花样 [01:13.684]and I'm sorry that there's something wrong about that,
我认为这种想法问题很大 [01:17.139]and I wouldn't have said that.
我是不会这样说的 [01:18.467]But six months ago I met a girl, she was taking singing lessons
六个月前 我碰到一个姑娘 她在上声乐课 [01:21.915]and her coach, 84-year-old guy,
她的老师84岁了 [01:24.570]you think it'd be the last guy in the world to be weird,
这个年纪应该不会说些奇怪的话 [01:27.762]but listen to this.
但你听听这个 [01:33.336]He kept wanting her to sing from her diaphragm.
他希望她用“隔膜”发声 [01:51.328]I mean, that would take years to learn, wouldn't it?
这得花几十年来练吧？ [01:59.560]Now this doesn't happen very often.
下面这事也挺稀奇 [02:02.751]But about three weeks ago, I met a girl,
三周前我碰到个特别好的姑娘 [02:04.081]she was real nice, and she invited me to her apartment.
邀请我去她家 [02:07.263]So I went over there and she had the best p***y I have ever seen.
我到她家 她拥有我见过最完美的咪咪 [02:14.430]Oh now come on.
得了吧 [02:17.887]I'm talking about her cat! Now that makes me sick right there!
我在说她的猫！你们真是污秽 [02:27.650]You can't say anything anymore that people don't take it dirty
这世道 你说什么人们都会往黄色想 [02:30.308]and I'm sorry that disgusts me.
难以忍受 [02:34.561]That cat was the best **** I ever heard.
我操 那只猫真是 飘飘欲仙
我就跟大家直说了 [00:02.582]You probably read it in Screw Up Your Life Mag--
反正你估计也在“吃人”杂志看过 [00:05.236]I mean People's Magazine--anyway,
——我是说《时人》杂志——总之呢 [00:08.950]I used to smoke m*******a
我以前会飞 [00:19.047]but I tell you something.
但是 让我告诉你 [00:20.109]I would only smoke it in the late evening.
我只会在夜晚偏晚的时候飞 [00:23.566]Oh, occasionally the early evening,
偶尔在夜晚偏早的时候 [00:25.157]but usually the late evening or the mid-evening.
一般在夜晚偏晚的时候 或者夜晚不偏早不偏晚的时候 [00:28.614]So I just had the early evening, mid-evening
总结一下 只会在夜晚偏早的时候 夜晚不偏早不偏晚的时候 [00:33.924]and occasionally early afternoon or the mid-afternoon,
看情况 也会在下午偏早的时候 下午不偏早不偏晚的时候 [00:38.436]or perhaps the late mid-afternoon.
也有可能在下午偏晚的时候 [00:42.694]Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning,
会在早上偏早中晚早的时候 [00:46.412]but never at dusk, never at dusk. I would never do that.
但是绝对不会在黄昏 绝对不会 我不会做这种事情的 [00:51.453]Okay, hey Grandpa bought a rubber.
爷爷买了橡胶～ [01:06.771]I feel sorry for women and I'll tell you why.
我为女人们感到抱歉 给大家讲讲为什么 [01:09.699]Because so many men think they're into this weird sex
因为有很多男人都觉得自己喜欢玩花样 [01:13.684]and I'm sorry that there's something wrong about that,
我认为这种想法问题很大 [01:17.139]and I wouldn't have said that.
我是不会这样说的 [01:18.467]But six months ago I met a girl, she was taking singing lessons
六个月前 我碰到一个姑娘 她在上声乐课 [01:21.915]and her coach, 84-year-old guy,
她的老师84岁了 [01:24.570]you think it'd be the last guy in the world to be weird,
这个年纪应该不会说些奇怪的话 [01:27.762]but listen to this.
但你听听这个 [01:33.336]He kept wanting her to sing from her diaphragm.
他希望她用“隔膜”发声 [01:51.328]I mean, that would take years to learn, wouldn't it?
这得花几十年来练吧？ [01:59.560]Now this doesn't happen very often.
下面这事也挺稀奇 [02:02.751]But about three weeks ago, I met a girl,
三周前我碰到个特别好的姑娘 [02:04.081]she was real nice, and she invited me to her apartment.
邀请我去她家 [02:07.263]So I went over there and she had the best p***y I have ever seen.
我到她家 她拥有我见过最完美的咪咪 [02:14.430]Oh now come on.
得了吧 [02:17.887]I'm talking about her cat! Now that makes me sick right there!
我在说她的猫！你们真是污秽 [02:27.650]You can't say anything anymore that people don't take it dirty
这世道 你说什么人们都会往黄色想 [02:30.308]and I'm sorry that disgusts me.
难以忍受 [02:34.561]That cat was the best **** I ever heard.
我操 那只猫真是 飘飘欲仙