Perception Check-Tom Cardy

[00:00.000] 作词 : Tom Cardy [00:00.129] 作曲 : Tom Cardy [00:00.258] 编曲 : Tom Cardy [00:00.387] 制作人 : Tom Cardy [00:00.517] On the horizon of this forest path, you see a group of dark cloaked figures slowly trudging towards you. What do you do?
在这条林间小径的地平线上，你看见一群身着黑袍的人正缓缓向你走来。你要怎么做？ [00:06.100] My half-orc barbarian braces her greathammer and—that's a One
我的半兽人野蛮战士握紧她的巨锤，然后（投）——那是个一。 [00:09.148] Critical fail. Steve, what do you do?
大失败。Steve，你要干啥？ [00:10.765] Well, I believe in anticipation, my rogue would try and hide behind a tree—okay, I rolled a One
好吧，我相信在预料到这种情况后，我的盗贼会试图躲在一棵树后面（投）——好吧，我投了个一。 [00:15.001] That's another critical fail. Tom, what does your human bard do?
又来一个大失败。Tom，你的人类吟游诗人要怎么做？ [00:18.164] Active Perception Check
进行察觉检定。 [00:19.700] ...That's a Natural 20
（投）...那是个满分20。 [00:20.681] Let's ****ing go
直接给我原地起飞！ [00:22.182] [00:23.079] I feel it in my fingers
我能于指尖感触到 [00:25.138] I feel it in my toes
我能在趾尖体悟到 [00:27.421] These mother****ers mean to harm us
这些踏马的小兔崽子想对我们动手 [00:30.104] And they got to go, so come on, get 'em now!
而且他们必须立马滚蛋，所以上，给我往死里干他们！ [00:32.366] You picked the wrong day to **** around with my
你挑了个倒霉日子，来招惹我这群 [00:34.558] Tight crew, oh ho
铁 哥 们 儿 [00:36.659] There's no escaping it, I can perceive you
你们无路可逃了哈，我能察觉到你们 [00:38.766] And here's what we're gonna do
而这就是我们接下来要干的 [00:39.978] [00:41.155] Me and my boys gonna mess you up
我和我哥们儿要狠狠地修理你们—— [00:43.490] I rolled a One, I rolled a One, ****
我投了个一。我也投了个一。淦！ [00:45.724] My boys are otherwise engaged
我哥们儿另有大事要忙 [00:47.824] So I'm gonna bring it all myself
所以就由我来独自面对你们—— [00:49.301] [00:49.734] Hey, I forgot, you're supposed to tell me what I see, right?
嘿，我忘了，你得告诉我我都看到了些啥，对不？ [00:52.108] Yes, thank you. Let's just slow it all down a bit.
是的，非常感谢你的配合。让我们慢着点来好吧。 [00:54.414] So, you notice that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter—
所以，你注意到其中一个披着黑袍的身影略有点儿矮—— [00:56.665] I cast Vicious Mockery. Nat 20, let's go
（投）我使用恶意嘲讽。满分20，芜湖起飞！ [00:57.452] [00:59.038] You're a short mother****er and nobody likes you
你是个矮的要命的小混蛋并且没人爱你 [01:02.740] SHORT!
矬子！ [01:02.960] Everybody says "Look how ****ing short that guy is"
每个人都在说，“哟快看这哥们儿矮得惊天动地” [01:05.019] And that stops you from forming meaningful relationships
而且这阻碍了你组建任何有意义的人际关系 [01:07.840] And when you were born, everybody thought
当你出生的时候，每个人都在脑子里想一件事 [01:09.707] That you were just a head, but then the doctor said
就是你就只有个头，但是接着医生说： [01:12.114] "Wait, this stupid mutha****in' tiny short ass
“慢着，这个踏马的肉眼几乎不可见的混蛋 [01:14.319] Baby got a tiny little itty bitty body and I hate it"
小婴儿还是有一个超级无敌纳米小的身子的并且我讨厌它。” [01:16.437] [01:16.887] Your attack lands and absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked figure. Perception Check, please
你的祖安攻击效果超群并且完全彻底地击溃了黑袍哥的心智。察觉检定，请。 [01:20.842] Nat 20, let's go!
（投）满分20，走你！ [01:21.883] You perceive the figure was so short because it was a CHILD
你察觉到这个哥们儿这么矮是因为他是个*小孩* [01:24.394] It's always a kid
呃又是小孩哥 [01:25.224] Specifically the child you've been looking for for the last 15 days game time and 5 days of our actual lives
更确切地说，就是那个你们在游戏时间里过去的15天以及现实生活中的5天里一直在寻找的小孩哥。 [01:29.640] Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'll be better. ****, his body's just lying there, right? Right?
好好，这把我的，我不知道啊。我下回肯定玩的更好点儿。淦了，他的尸体还躺那儿呢是吧？是吧？ [01:37.240] Yes...? Don't—
是的...？我去求你别—— [01:38.056] [01:38.944] Loot that body (Gotta loot that body now!)
搜刮那具尸体！（得搜刮那具尸体！就现在！） [01:40.962] Loot that body! (Gotta loot that mother****er!)
含泪舔包！（得把那小兔崽子浑身上下摸个遍！） [01:43.195] Playing my flute when I loot that dead kid's body
在我注视那位逝去的小孩哥的遗体的时候疯狂地吹我的破笛子 [01:47.326] Bitch
煞笔！