Car Crash-Hotel Books

[00:00.50]It was problematic at best to perceive existence [00:04.28]with a myopic lens I embedded into myself [00:08.36]The lack of gestures limited the effectiveness of my delivery [00:12.75]and all she begged for was deliverance [00:15.38]Soft, eloquent passages that provided closure. [00:19.34]Not answers, just closure [00:22.63]And I somehow fashioned together an array of broken glass [00:26.73]And that looked enough like a vase that it would pass [00:29.53]She would accept it [00:31.22]and have a way to keep her roses watered and alive again, [00:38.26]when I was broken Prized among the lacklustre thieves [00:42.16]immune to pain but pain by immunity [00:44.69]She beckoned me and she lessened me because no other love [00:48.35]could accommodate my blind fold so easily [00:52.10]And I was afraid of change, but I was afraid of not changing [00:59.33]And I was afraid of change, but I was afraid of not changing [01:08.37]Then a quick flood of blood infecting my brain, [01:11.82]dashboard you, dashboard blank slate [01:16.36]My narrow lens no longer mattered, [01:18.89]no longer weighed in and neither did your fear, [01:23.04]or your insecurities, or your smile [01:27.18] [01:29.46]That moment in three seconds fate circumvented a concrete divider, [01:35.32]followed by seven seconds of nervous prayer, [01:38.91]nervous cursing, nervous something [01:42.36]presented in my lies, those god for saken lies limited it even more [01:46.15]presented on my God forsaken lies limited it even more [01:53.73]Seven seconds of promising myself, promising myself that if I survived I would stop bargaining [02:01.15]I would stop pushing off effort in exchange for more time, [02:03.98]I would stop neglecting civil spiritual and personal duties or promises, [02:09.25]one of the other, they both seemed likely at that point [02:13.23]Two seconds, the longest two seconds [02:15.49]I've ever experienced of lying to myself, [02:19.14]lying to my God and lying to you [02:23.79]The words "I promise" seem so trite and so inaccurate [02:28.48] [02:29.18]Sirens ended the charade and began an investigation [02:32.36]seated on the cold end of a wooden table. [02:34.90]I shouted, "This is who I was, but not who I am!" [02:40.41]I assured them, mistakes were to be made [02:43.04]but lessons were to be learned. [02:44.66]I always thought that is what life was; [02:47.65]just a collection of moments intended for lessons. [02:52.80]Or a collection of lessons looking for moments to fulfill them. [03:00.58]So foolish, a passenger caught up in this accident. [03:05.97]Nothing mattered beyond the fact [03:09.25]that I was broken and hurting and damaged physically. [03:16.42]And I praise God that I was a survivor [03:21.76]and that's when I heard the fate of the driver. [03:26.92]Three seconds later, closure, not answers. [03:32.02]Just closure. [03:33.85]Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I loved you [03:37.89]Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I love you [03:42.65]And every day I wish we could trade places