I Never Thought I Would Be Okay-Hotel Books

[00:28.26]I let intentions hold more power than actions [00:31.69]and that's why I fall asleep alone [00:35.43]I sit here idly finding timely [00:37.45]spacing and phrasing while writing and scribbling [00:40.19]words of watered down angst and heartbreak [00:42.31]while my spirit runs wildly [00:45.44]How I envy my free spirit [00:48.63]And how I envy what I was supposed to be [00:52.41]My heart inhabiting life's snaking lucid dreams [00:55.55]liquid ambitions secret fiction and other seamless things [00:59.35]packed in stitch packed in a propaganda to sell my friends [01:02.74]on the statement that life holds meaning [01:05.63]And I can write about the life I'm living [01:07.54]but most often it feels like I'm just writing [01:11.44]not living [01:14.98] [01:17.40]But that's never stopped me before [01:24.03]That's never stopped me before so I continue writing [01:28.09]and seeing that after love and learning so many things I never wanted to know [01:33.15]And now I'm a self-taught professional at letting go [01:36.83]Accepting that only black and white in life [01:40.18]is now grapevines wrapping around my mind [01:43.02]And numbing me into falling into falling in love, [01:45.29]A sacred bond now a cultural joke [01:50.19]Still trying to live but functioning enough to keep pushing [01:53.43]I wish I could finally inhale and exhale freely [01:56.92]but sometimes I need to choke [01:59.40]I need to be reminded that this is not another formulated system [02:03.49]I've come upon in order to feel accepted [02:07.18]Or maybe it is [02:08.15] [02:10.87]Because I've become pretty good at keeping my demons at bay [02:14.65]And I always tell myself I got them to go away [02:17.64]But every time I move on to a new point in my life [02:20.58]I want them to stay [02:23.20]And everyday I'll invite them into my home stupidly [02:26.57]just so I don't feel so alone [02:30.50]Cause now I'm drowning [02:33.65]Hoping somebody comes by [02:37.58]Or sees me as something worth saving [02:43.90]And the interesting thing about falling in love [02:46.89]is that sometimes moving on keeps me from moving forward [02:52.85]I found out I'm not so grave [02:55.63]And I wanted to say this to your face but my pride scared me away [03:03.52]So just promise me you'll tell me you love me [03:06.81]Even if you're lying [03:09.08]Because it's all I wanna hear [03:11.71]So just promise me you'll tell me you love me [03:14.49]Even if you're lying [03:16.71]Because it's all I wanna hear [03:20.81]Promise me you'll tell me you love me [03:24.40]Because I love you, [03:26.12]my dear [03:28.94]And I know it's petty [03:31.83]I know it's petty [03:33.45]But then again, so were we.