Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase:The Simpson family Smile-Time Vari-The Simpsons

[00:00.00]Troy McClure:In our final spin-off tonight, [00:02.13]the Simpson family finally gets the chance to show off the full range of their talents. [00:06.94]Unfortunately, one family member didn't want that chance and refused to participate. [00:11.45]But thanks to some creative casting, you won't even notice. [00:15.15]Show us what you got, TV! [00:17.88]Kent Brockman:Live from Radio City Music Room in downtown Springfield, [00:22.60]it's The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour! [00:26.88]Featuring the Waylon Smithers Dancers and the Springfield Baggy Pants Players! [00:32.83]And now, a family that doesn't know the meaning of the word "cancelled": The Simpsons! [00:40.29]The Simpsons:Come along and bring the family! [00:43.67]Come along and join the fun! [00:47.35]Come along and join the family! [00:50.54]Join the fam'ly Simpson! [00:53.94]Roll call! [00:56.61]Marge:Remember me? My name is Marge, [00:58.33]The TV mom whose hair is large! [01:03.14]Bart:Step back, Mom, it's Bart's turn now, [01:04.82]Eat my shorts, don't have a cow! [01:09.38]"Lisa":I'm Lisa, peppy, blond and stunning, [01:11.30]Sophomore, prom queen five years running! [01:13.59]Gooooooooooo Lisa! [01:19.76]Bart:Wait a minute! Whoa, whoa, stop the music! Where's Dad? [01:27.21]"Lisa":Here he is! [01:28.63]Homer:I'm hiding from th-th-th-the ghost! [01:31.72]Marge:Ghost? What ghost? [01:33.50]Homer:B-B-Before the show, you said we were having a special ghost tonight. [01:37.75]Marge:I said we were having a special guest tonight: Mr. Tim Conway! [01:45.48]Homer:What's a Tim Conway? [01:46.76]Tim Conway:Oh, about 120 pounds. [01:51.81]The Simpsons:It's The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour! [02:13.66]Marge:Inflation, trade defecit, horrible war atrocities. [02:18.40]How are we supposed to do our big musical number with so many problems in the world? [02:21.93]Homer:Well, I know one thing in this world that's still pure and good. [02:25.45]Marge:Christian love? [02:27.44]Homer:No,,CANDY! Sweet sweet candy! [02:35.90]I want candy! [02:38.20]Marge:But don't you wanna end world famine? [02:40.51]Bart:I want candy! [02:42.73]Marge:Or save the endangered Alaskan salmon? [02:45.23]"Lisa":I want candy! [02:47.53]Marge:Well, if you won't think of society's ills... [02:49.93]Homer, Bart and "Lisa":I want candy! [02:52.29]Marge:At least, think of our dentist bills! [02:59.33]Bart and "Lisa":Gotta new dance and it goes like this, [03:03.66]And the name of the dance is the Peppermint Twist. [03:08.66]Yeah! [03:12.84]Jasper:Lollipop, lollipop, oh, lolli-lollipop, [03:16.85]Lollipop. [03:18.72]Ow. [03:21.76]Smithers:Crack that whip! [03:24.90]Licorice whip! [03:28.33]I said, Whip it! [03:31.32]Licorice whip! [03:40.53]All:We want candy! [03:45.14]We want candy! [03:49.58]CANDY!