Everyone's A Little Bit Racist-Various Artists

[00:00.570]Princeton: Say, Kate, can I ask you a question? [00:01.620]Kate Monster: Sure! [00:02.400]Princeton: Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs? [00:04.190]Kate Monster :Uh huh. [00:05.070]Princeton: Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster . [00:07.770]Kate Monster :Right [00:08.740]Princeton: You're both Monsters. [00:09.170]Kate Monster: Yeah. [00:09.990]Princeton: Are you two related? [00:11.550]Kate Monster: What? Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist! [00:16.400]Princeton: Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking! [00:18.980]Kate Monster: Well, it's a touchy subject. No ,not all Monsters are related. [00:23.850] What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh? [00:27.120]Princeton: No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry ,I guess that was a little racist. [00:32.840]Kate Monster:，I should say so. You should be much more， [00:39.370]careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race. [00:39.960]Princeton:，Well, look who's talking! [00:41.420]Kate Monster: What do you mean? [00:42.590]Princeton: What about that special Monster School you told me about? [00:45.230]Kate Monster: What about it? [00:46.670]Princeton:，Could someone like me go there? [00:47.960]Kate Monster: No, we don't want people like you-， [00:49.730]Princeton:，You see?!You're a little bit racist. [00:54.100]Kate Monster:，Well, you're a little bit too. [00:56.850]Princeton :I guess we're both a little bit racist. [00:59.470]Kate Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do... [01:01.990]Princeton: But I guess it's true. [01:03.450]Kate Monster: Between me and you, I think [01:05.350]Both:，Everyone's a little bit racist，Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go， [01:11.270]Around committing hate crimes .Look around and you will find， [01:26.610]No one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact，We all should face， [01:31.250]Everyone makes judgments，Based on race. [01:34.520]Princeton:，Now not big judgments, like who to hire，or who to buy a newspaper from. [01:36.330]Kate Monster: No! [01:38.640]Princeton: No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican， [01:40.030]busboys should learn to speak goddamn English! [01:40.910]Kate Monster :Right! [01:48.420]Both: Everyone's a little bit racist， Today. So , everyone's a little bit racist， [01:54.050]Okay! Ethinic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because， [02:01.990]Everyone enjoys them -，So relax! [02:04.930]They're based on truth. Don't take them as，Personal attacks . [02:06.570]Princeton: All right, stop me if you've heard this one. [02:08.070]Kate Monster: Okay! [02:09.060]Princeton: There's a plan going down and there's only，one paracute. [02:13.090]And there's a rabbi, a priest... [02:14.120]Kate Monster: And a black guy! [02:15.100]Gary Coleman: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate? [02:16.090]Kate Monster: Uh... [02:17.550]Gary Coleman: You were telling a black joke! [02:19.100]Princeton: Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes. [02:22.510]Princeton: Well. of course you don't - you're black! [02:23.510]Gary Coleman:I don't. [02:24.530] But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right? [02:26.370]Gary Coleman: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks! [02:30.450]Princeton: Now, don't you think that's a little racist? [02:34.040]Gary Coleman: Well, damn, I guess you're right. [02:36.700]Kate Monster: You're a little bit racist. [02:39.360]Gary Coleman :Well, you're a little bit too. [02:41.500]Princeton: We're all a little bit racist. [02:44.500]Gary Coleman:I think that I would，Have to agree with you. [02:47.380]Princeton/Kate Monster:，We're glad you do. [02:48.550]Gary Coleman :It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist -，All right! [02:53.100]Kate Monster:，All right! [02:53.560]Princeton: All right! [02:54.570]Gary Coleman: All right!Bigotry has never been，Exclusively white， [03:00.420]All: If we all could just admit，That we are racist a little bit, [03:10.210] Even though we all know， [03:16.500]That it's wrong, Maybe it would help us，Get along. [03:17.580]Princeton: Oh, Christ do I feel good [03:20.310]Gary Coleman: Now there was a fine upstanding black man! [03:22.480]Princeton: Who? [03:23.720]Gary Coleman :Jesus Christ. [03:25.890]Kate Monster: But, Gary, Jesus was white. [03:26.970]Gary Coleman No, Jesus was black. [03:28.620]Kate Monster: No, Jesus was white. [03:30.800]Gary Coleman :No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black [03:34.510]Princeton: Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish! [03:39.710]Brian: Hey guys, what are you laughing about? [03:40.790]Gary Coleman: Racism! [03:43.100]Brian: Cool. [03:45.800]Christmas Eve: BRIAN! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs! [03:47.240]Princeton :What's that mean? [03:53.440]Brian: Um, recyclables .Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak? [03:57.610]Kate Monster: Oh, come off it, Brian! Everyone's a little bit racist. [03:58.850]Brian: I'm not! [03:59.520]Princeton: Oh no? [04:00.550]Brian: Nope! How many Oriental wives，Have you got? [04:05.120]Christmas Eve: What? Brian! [04:06.570]Princeton : Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American! [04:12.350]Christmas Eve: I know you are no，Intending to be，But calling me Oriental -， [04:14.110]Offensive to me! [04:22.480]Brian: I'm sorry, honey, I love you. [04:25.600]Christmas Eve: And I love you. [04:27.350]Brian: But you're racist, too. [04:32.280]Christmas Eve:，Yes, I know. The Jews have all，The money， [04:38.390]And the whites have all，The power .And I'm always in taxi-cab， [04:42.040]With driver who no shower! [04:42.980]Princeton: Me too! [04:44.030]Kate Monster : Me too! [04:45.780]Gary Coleman: I can't even get a taxi! [04:46.840]All: Everyone's a little bit racist，It's true. But everyone is just about， [04:54.130]As racist as you! If we all could just admit，That we are racist a little bit, [05:00.360] And everyone stopped being，So PC，Maybe we could live in -，Harmony! [05:20.400]Christmas Eve: Everyone's a ritter bit lacist。