Handy-Weird Al Yankovic

[00:08.110]First things first, I'm a craftsman
首先，我是个手艺人 [00:10.470]Remodelling is my only passion
改造是我唯一的热爱 [00:13.480]And I'm the greatest in the business
我在业内是半壁江山 [00:14.710]Want referrals, yo
你想引荐吗 [00:15.930]My clientèle will bear you witness
我的客户会作证的 [00:18.150]I can help when your door jamb sticks
当你门框卡住时，我会帮忙 [00:19.900]There is nothing in the world I can't fix
世上没有什么我修不了的 [00:22.960]I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
我加瓦，我塑石，我添砖 [00:24.850]Call me, I'll come rushing over
拨打电话，咱会火速赶来 [00:26.210]with my bag of tricks
带着我满袋子的手艺 [00:28.000]Where you go when your disposal is rusted
当你的废品生锈，你该如何 [00:30.140]Termite problem making you disgusted
白蚁成灾让你厌恶 [00:32.930]When your front window is busted
当你的前窗碎了 [00:35.740]Just one man that's always trusted
只有一个人能担负重任 [00:37.740]I'm so handy, you already know
我手艺高超，你也知道 [00:42.300]I'll fix your plumbing
我会修你家的管道 [00:45.390]when your toilets over flows
当你家厕所水漫金山 [00:47.500]I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
我手艺高超，你的一切都会变好 [00:52.300]When your dishwasher's about to explode
当你家洗碗机要炸了 [00:57.450]Now you see that
现在你看到了 [00:57.980]your furnace is needing some service
你家火炉需要点上门服务 [01:00.130]I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous
我完全有担保，不必紧张 [01:02.490]Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
也许你家会成另一个富美家 [01:05.070]Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer
也许我会连好洗碗机兼组合式烘干机 [01:07.250]But all your pipes are antique
但你家水管是古董岁数 [01:08.420]Your water pressure's too weak
你家水压实在太小 [01:09.660]You got an attic full of dry rot
你家阁楼要废掉了 [01:11.050]Because your roof sprung a leak
因为你家屋顶有个窟窿 [01:12.190]Your fridge is starting to reek
你家冰箱散发出恶臭 [01:13.340]Your hardwood floors really squeak
你家硬木板嘎吱响得起劲 [01:14.570]But don't you worry
但你别担心 [01:15.320]I'll just show you my amazing technique
让你看看我的炫酷手艺吧 [01:17.140]Now let me glue that,
现在胶上那个 [01:18.100]glue that and screw that, screw that
胶上那个，再钉上这个，钉上 [01:19.830]Any random chore you got,
使你困扰的各种杂务 [01:20.600]well I can do that, do that
我都能搞定 [01:22.140]Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
也许我乐意给你家重新布线 [01:24.820]I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one
我有99个问题，但开关不算 [01:27.640]I'm so handy, everyone said so
我手艺高超，大家都这么说 [01:32.280]I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
我会给你浴室瓷砖灌浆，重铺你家院子 [01:37.610]I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
我手艺高超，我无所不知 [01:42.270]When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh
当你家吹叶机不会动 [01:47.590]Patch the drywall,
补好清水墙 [01:50.060]clean your gutters and mow the lawn
打扫你家排水沟，修剪好草坪 [01:52.300]Make that phone call,
拨打电话吧 [01:55.050]I'll install anything you want
我会收拾好你想要的 [01:57.290]Yeah, check my big staple gun,
耶，瞧瞧我的大钉枪 [01:59.940]my socket wrenches are second to none
我的管钳子独一无二 [02:02.570]I won't quit 'til I'm done,
没干好我是不会走的 [02:05.030]don't even care if I hammer my thumb
敲到我的拇指也小意思 [02:13.590]Still rocking my screwdriver
继续鼓捣我的螺丝刀 [02:15.430]Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver
全世界都会知道我是马盖先 [02:17.930]Your heating bills are shocking
你家取暖费简直可怕 [02:20.340]I can solve that with some duct tape
用一些胶带就能完事 [02:21.800]and some caulking
再填填缝隙 [02:23.750]Your house is a disaster, huh?
你的房子简直是灾难，对吧？ [02:25.510]Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
是不是要一个有涂墙泥的大师呢？ [02:28.580]Let me be your stripper
让我做你家的脱漆剂吧 [02:30.080]Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker
去掉这些油漆，没人比我快 [02:32.640]I'm so handy, you already know
我手艺高超，你也知道 [02:37.270]I'll beat all price quotes,
那些报价的可以滚蛋了 [02:40.400]my hourly rates are low
我计时工资很廉价 [02:42.560]I'm so handy, you should call this pro
我手艺高超，你应该叫叫我 [02:47.270]I'm in the phone book and se habla Espa ol
我的名字在电话簿里，还说的是西班牙语 [02:52.360]