Gus: The Theatre Cat-Andrew Lloyd Webber

[00:07.06]Gus is the cat at the theater door [00:13.54]His name, as I ought to have told you before [00:19.86]Is really Asparagus, and that's a fuss to pronounce [00:27.76]That we usually call him just Gus [00:34.61]His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake [00:40.70]And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake [00:46.68]Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats [00:53.34]But no longer a terror to mice or to rats [01:00.93]For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime [01:06.76]Though his name was quite famous, [01:13.88]And whenever he joins his friends at their club [01:20.09](Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub) [01:26.71]He loves to regale them, [01:30.15]if someone else pays [01:34.03]With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days [01:40.11]For he once was a star of the highest degree [01:45.91]He has acted with Irving, he's acted with tree [01:52.43]And he likes to relate his success on the halls [01:58.17]Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls [02:05.23]But his greatest creation as he loves to tell [02:13.05]Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell [02:27.74]I have played in my time every possible part [02:35.84]And I used to know seventy speeches by heart [02:44.03]I'd extemporize back chat, I knew how to gag [02:51.38]And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag [02:58.97]I knew how to act with my back and my tail [03:06.05]With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail [03:12.64]I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts [03:19.50]Whether I took the lead, or in character parts [03:27.21]I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell [03:33.51]When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell [03:39.88]In the pantomime season, I never fell flat [03:46.05]And I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat [03:53.00]But my grandest creation, as history will tell [04:01.65]Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell [04:16.72]Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin [04:21.67]He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne [04:26.60]At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat [04:31.51]When some actor suggested the need for a cat [04:37.10]And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained [04:43.17]As we did in the days when Victoria reigned [04:49.38]They never get drilled in a regular troupe [04:55.04]And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop [05:01.38]And he says as he scratches himself with his claws [05:07.44]Well the theater is certainly not what is was [05:13.54]These modern productions are all very well [05:20.06]But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell [05:27.48]That moment of mystery when I made history [05:37.37]As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell [05:58.43]I once crossed the stage on the telegraph wire [06:05.36]To rescue a child when a house was on fire [06:11.81]And I think that I still can much better than most [06:18.22]Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost [06:25.91]And I once played Growl tiger [06:29.97]Could do it again, could do it again, could do it again