***** Song-Macklemore

[00:00.00]Ladies and gentlemen [00:02.89]Introducing, the ***** song. [00:08.04](oh no he didn't) [00:09.20](Honk a ****) [00:09.63]This is my ***** song [00:13.43]I wish that I had a bigger shlong [00:18.24]One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long [00:23.28]One of those porno king kong dongs [00:26.75]Check it out [00:29.12]I wish my **** was bigger, I can admit it [00:31.70]I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit [00:34.29]If I had a big ol' c**k what would I do? [00:36.34]I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw [00:38.87]Get buck naked and start streaking at my school [00:41.17]And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed [00:43.57]With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and [00:46.02]Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man [00:48.51]With no clothes on just to show off [00:50.91]My ****'s bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft [00:53.24]Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the c**k that I have [00:57.76]I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package [01:00.27]And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets [01:02.71]Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter," [01:05.20]Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards cause I mean [01:07.84]I know that god made us all different and special [01:09.65]But shit did he really have to invent lopsided t******es? [01:12.33]I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like [01:16.97]Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your b***s [01:23.27]I mean I don't know, I just hurt,I feel bad [01:26.08]This is my ***** song [01:28.51]I wish that I had a bigger shlong [01:33.81]One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long [01:38.55]Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along [01:44.99]Yo ladies [01:46.64]Yeah? [01:47.10]Ladies! [01:47.98]Yeah? [01:48.32]Do you want a guy with an average ****? [01:49.96]Hell no [01:50.58]Then- wait you don't? [01:52.37]No you honkey **** [01:53.58]Okay that's cool, no that's fine [01:55.41]I promise, I'm so self conscious [01:57.64]That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August [02:00.06]Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets trying to pump blood into my guy Alfonso [02:04.85]I mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understand [02:07.15]I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man [02:09.53]And even though girls have told me that I'm big when I watch a porno I feel like a little kid [02:14.38]I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy [02:16.63]Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me [02:19.12]And every MC in hip hop has got a huge c**k [02:21.47]Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got [02:23.88]I mean, shit [02:25.03]If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My **** [02:28.55]With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with [02:30.98]And talk about my package and multiple orgasms [02:33.43]'Cause all that I see is that size does matter [02:35.74]We got Enzite, ***** pumps surgery to Viagra [02:38.35]But when it all adds up you can't really change it [02:40.67]I'm not a porno star I just gotta face it [02:43.10]You know, what can I do [02:44.83]This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes [02:48.63]So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big dudes stop [02:51.64]This is my ***** song [02:54.06]I wish that I had a bigger shlong [02:59.06]One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long [03:04.61]Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along