I F--K Sl--Ts-Bo Burnham

[00:00.000] 作曲 : Bo Burnham [00:00.523]Thank you for all being here on a Friday [00:01.785]I know there's lots of places you can be on a Friday [00:03.506]So I appreciate you taking the time to be with me [00:05.535]It does truly mean a lot [00:07.052]I would like to, um, do a love poem right now [00:09.503]Since it's sort of early in the show [00:11.792]Um, I warn you, it is sappy and romantic, so um [00:15.743]I'll get it out of the way now [00:17.070]And then I'll go back to the, er, the dirty stuff [00:19.102]That everyone loves, or whatever [00:21.215]Um, okay, it's called 'I F--k Sl--ts' [00:27.533]Sl--ts [00:29.089]Sl--ts (it's not a rollcall but thank you) [00:31.917]Sl--ts, I f--k sl--ts [00:35.221]Sl--ts get f--ked when I f--k sl--ts [00:36.880]No if ands and or buts [00:38.238]I f--k sl--ts [00:39.020]I f--k sl--ts [00:40.172]Nice girls are nice [00:40.977]But no good for nut sucking [00:42.100]Don't need need a serene night to green light a butt f--king [00:44.350]But that will be easy with sleazy old sl--t f--king [00:46.593]Boo to the nice girls [00:47.649]Praise be to sl--t f--king [00:49.050]I have a list [00:50.166]A list? [00:51.038]Yes, a list of all the sl--ts I've missed [00:52.906]I've never f--ked or sucked these sl--ts [00:54.806]And thus my **** are f--king pissed [00:56.195]So when I f--k the lucky sl--t, my nut removes her from the list [00:59.577]Another dumb cum bucket struck [01:01.470]From my nut sucking suck it sl--t, sl--t f--king bucket list [01:05.137]So, yes you hear the influences, Chaucer [01:09.500]The pages are blank, I know it, why am I lying to you? [01:15.388]Sl--ts can be white, black, brown, pink or almond [01:17.656]They can be skinny with big tits [01:18.726]Or be skinny with small ones [01:20.196]Sl--ts can be perky preppy or posh [01:22.182]With their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash [01:28.971]City people are confused [01:32.523]But other sl--ts are pretty and funny and smart [01:36.213]These sl--ts can lift all your thoughts from your d--k to your heart [01:39.041]They can talk about science, music, or art [01:40.975]They can put you together [01:41.837]Or they could pull you apart [01:43.017]But don't trust these sl--ts [01:44.229]Don't, don't you dare [01:45.706]They'll force you [01:46.185]Trust them and love them and care [01:47.878]And then they'll be gone [01:48.726]And then youll be aware of that hole in your heart [01:50.748]That that dumb sl--t left there [01:52.425]Thank you very much [01:53.703]So, you see? He was lashing out with sexist language [01:57.167]'Cause he had his heart broken [01:58.343]We all learn something [02:00.714]Um, I know that that bit in particular is a little bit dense [02:03.573]A little bit hard to follow [02:04.659]And I wanna be able to do something that's easier to follow [02:06.972]And you could probably get on the first listen [02:08.291]So I wanna do a slower joke for you, erm [02:10.143]Here's a slow joke... [02:17.607]What did the ear of corn say [02:21.935]When all of it's clothes fell off [02:26.926]"Aw shucks!" Get it? [02:35.086]Like, shucks as in shucking corn [02:40.004]And also shucks the exclamation [02:45.742]Am I right? [02:51.543]Something for everybody, um [02:55.743]My father recently told me that I act too gay on stage [02:58.564]I said, "Really Dad? Prove it" [03:06.954]For those listening, I threw confetti, flamboyantly [03:15.788]So we're having fun [03:18.197]Thank you for all being here