Out of the Abyss-Bo Burnham

[00:00.000] 作曲 : Bo Burnham [00:01.385]H-how old are you, buddy? [00:04.514]14? Is this your mother beside you? [00:07.616]This is getting awkward isn't it? [00:12.048]Well your mother's very cool... your mother's very cool for bringing you [00:14.777]Remember that, remember when you get old and grey [00:16.484]She was cool and she brought you to a comedy show [00:23.428]I-I have trouble getting along with my father, he's such a man's man you know [00:27.244]He lives his life by all these rules that I can't possibly live by [00:29.987]He believes you should always fight fire with fire [00:32.914]Which is a horrible way to live your life [00:34.495]Well cause he's a firefighter so he was fired [00:39.673]Whoops, that was stupid, let's get a little stupider [00:42.683]There's a creepy old man fishing in the park, and the only problem is [00:46.377]He tied a candy bar to the end of his line, he's trying to catch a kid [01:04.454]For those listening on the CD, I mimed like I was catching the 14 year old I was just talking to [01:11.415]Mom isn't happy, just guessing, not even looking, alright [01:25.729]You know, people complain about the way I act on stage, they think I repeat jokes. [01:29.547]And they think- They don't get that the way I act on stage is just that, it's an act. [01:34.704]You know, they think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solipsistic, self-contained, synonyms. [01:40.367]And they want me to be more a comic to the people, relate to the beautiful people in this room in the overarching glue of comedy, so let's do a little but of uh relatable comedy [01:49.808]I'm like you guys, once a week I like to slip into a deep existential depression and where I lose all my sense of oneness and self worth, haha! [01:55.365]And what I like to do in order to assure myself that I am unique, and I'm not just one of many small, white indistinguishable perfectly cylindric checker pieces in Jesus and Satan's backgammon game [02:05.574]Is I will- guys, I'll try to say a group of words in a certain order that I think no one has ever said them before [02:12.606]So when I'm saying them it's like "Look at me, participating in this new moment that no one has ever participated in" [02:17.702]And I feel like I'm preceding out of the abyss so I'll say something random that no one's ever said [02:21.396]Like "peanut butter tribadism" [02:23.379]Or "I'm your father and I loved your comedy show" [02:32.055]Or "At first I didn't feel comfortable leaving him alone with my child, but then I saw his mustache, phew." [02:37.325]Or, uh, or, uh, "Did you see this Amish website?" [02:42.781]Or "Hey yo baby my life's about three things, three simple things, gettin' money, gettin' b*****s, and the Dewey decimal syste [02:53.960]Or um, "Hey can you hold my fanny pack? I'm gonna go **** a woman" [03:08.506]Cause you don't hear 'em [03:15.687]I'm giving you attention, girl that's wooing, are you happy now? [03:18.786](I love you!) [03:19.912]You love me, that's very nice. She loves the idea of me, you don't know me but that's okay [03:23.953]It's called a parasocial relationship [03:25.588]It goes one way and it's ultimately destructive. But please, keep buying all my shit forever [03:31.648]That's how it works. Capitalism, I'm trapped. It's terrible, I'm a horrible person, alright