Telly-Tim Minchin

[00:00.46]Somewhere on a show I heard [00:04.62]That a picture tells a thousand words [00:10.06]So telly, if you bothered to take a look [00:13.59]Is the equivalent, of like, lots of books! [00:18.53]All I know I learned from telly [00:20.78]This big beautiful box of facts [00:23.19]If you know a thing already [00:25.30]Baby you can switch the channel over just like that [00:27.75]Endless joy and endless laughter [00:29.94]Folks living happily ever after [00:32.17]All you need to make you wise [00:34.82]Is 23 minutes plus advertisements [00:36.82]Why would we waste our energy? [00:38.74]Turning the pages 1, 2, 3, [00:40.88]When we can sit comfortably [00:42.32]On our lovely bumferlies, [00:43.36]Watching people singing and talking and doing stuff?! [00:45.70]All I know I learned from telly. [00:47.64]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man! [00:49.70]You can tell from my big telly, [00:52.07]Just what a clever fella I am! [00:54.28]Take it away, son. [00:56.65](guitar noise) [01:01.74]You can't learn that from a stupid book. [01:03.39]All I know I learned from telly - [01:05.56]What to think and what to buy. [01:07.79]I was pretty smart already, [01:09.96]But now I'm really, really smart - very very smart. [01:12.43]Endless content, endless channels [01:14.37]Endless chat on endless panels [01:16.93]All you need to fill your muffin [01:19.03]Without having to really think or nothing! [01:21.15]Why would we waste our energy [01:23.21]Trying to work out Ulysses [01:25.34]When we can sit happily [01:26.89]On our lovely bapperlies [01:27.96]Watching slightly famous people [01:29.21]Talking to really famous people? [01:30.18]All I know I learned from telly [01:32.37]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man! [01:34.57]You can tell from my big telly [01:37.15]Just what a clever fella I am! [01:39.32] [01:40.40]Who the dickens is Charles Dickens? [01:42.37]Mary Shelly? Gosh, she sounds smelly [01:44.79]Harry Potter? What a rotter [01:46.97]Jane Austen in the compost bin [01:49.85]James Joyce doesn't sound nice [01:51.67]Ian McEwen? Ugh, I feel like spewin' [01:53.82]William Shakespeare? Swilliam Shmakespeare... [01:56.22]Moby Dick – easy Grandma! [01:58.06]All together now! [02:00.50]All I know I learned from telly. [02:05.62]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man! [02:11.28]You can tell from my big telly, [02:16.62]What a very clever fella I am! [02:32.62]Thank you very much!