Friends S01E14-英语听力

[00:02.31]Ross,she wants you. [00:04.55]We just live in the same building. [00:07.59]-Any contact? -She lent me an egg. - [00:10.12]-You're in! -Right. - [00:14.69]Hey,Ross. [00:22.07]Come on. Get back in the game. [00:25.00]The Rachel thing isn't happening, your ex-wife's a lesbian.... [00:30.01]I don't think we need a third. [00:32.41]Could we get an egg, still in the shell? [00:35.78]An egg? [00:42.39]I think it's winning. [00:48.56]-Thank you. -Thank you. Here. [00:54.50]Go with the egg,my friend. [00:58.77]Go,go,go! [01:03.14]-Think it'll work? -No way. It's suicide. - [01:07.21]The One With The Candy Hearts [01:56.56]-You can't do this. -Do what? - [01:58.93]-Roger wants to take her out. -No! Remember why you dumped him? - [02:04.40]Because he was creepy. [02:07.01]And mean. And frightening. [02:09.11]Still,it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day! [02:14.25]You can go out with a creep any night. [02:17.48]I know I do. [02:22.19]-What are you doing tomorrow night? -That depends on how tonight goes. - [02:27.63]-About tonight -Don't you bail on me! - [02:34.73]-But her friend sounds like a -Pathetic mess. I know,but.... - [02:39.60]Come on. She's needy,vulnerable. [02:42.44]I'm thinking.... [02:48.91]Thanks. [02:50.88]You haven't been out with a woman since Janice. You're doing this. [02:57.82]-She said yes. -Way to go,man! - [03:02.83]Still got the egg,huh? - [03:18.31]How do I look? [03:20.78]I don't care. [03:26.18]There's Lorraine. [03:28.45]No trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. [03:32.32]Hi,Joey. [03:36.79]Well,well! Look what you brought! [03:40.47]Very nice. [03:42.90]And what did you bring? [03:46.54]She's checking her coat. [03:48.57]I'm gonna wash the cab smell off of my hands. [03:52.14]Get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. [04:00.79]Janice? [04:03.79]Janice!? [04:06.56]Oh... [04:07.89]... my... … [04:09.49]...God! … [04:14.70]Hey,it's Janice! [04:23.07]Okay,I'm making a break for it! [04:25.78]I've been waiting for,like,forever to go out with Lorraine. [04:30.65]-Just calm down. -Calm down? [04:33.08]You set me up with a woman I've dumped twice in the last five months! [04:38.46]Can you stop yelling? You're making me nervous and.... [04:45.20]I can't go when I'm nervous. [04:48.03]I'm sorry,you're right. [04:54.07]Come on! Do it,do it! [04:59.01]Roger was creepy,but he was nothing compared to Pete. [05:03.01]-Who? -Pete the Weeper [05:05.22]The guy that used to cry every time we had ***? [05:09.25]"Was it good for you?" [05:18.43]"I win! I win!" “ [05:21.87]We went out for two months. I didn't win once. [05:25.94]How do we end up with these jerks? [05:29.61]We're some kind of magnets. [05:32.64]I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch. [05:39.22]There's more beer,right? [05:44.29]You know my friend who shaves her head? [05:47.46]No. No. [05:48.63]I have this friend who shaves her head. [05:52.03]She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle... [05:55.17]...you can do a cleansing ritual. [06:00.07]Pheebs,this woman is voluntarily bald. [06:05.24]Yeah. [06:07.18]We can do it tomorrow night. [06:10.01]It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect. [06:12.42]Okay,what kind of ritual? [06:14.82]We can burn the stuff they gave us. [06:19.79]Or...? [06:21.53]Or we can chant and dance around naked with sticks. [06:29.63]Burning's good. [06:41.11]You know... [06:42.88]... I can pick up quarters with my toes. [06:47.59]Yeah? Good for you. [06:53.16]Quarters or rolls of quarters? [07:01.80]By the way,I cut you out of all of my pictures. [07:11.04]That's okay. [07:13.18]You could make little puppets out of them. [07:17.05]And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty! [07:23.32]-We can't do that! -What? What can't you do? - [07:31.36]Can I talk to you for a second? Over there? [07:41.04]We might be leaving now. [07:43.91]Tell me it's you and me "we." [07:47.11]She wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. [07:51.35]I'm not even sure what slathering is! [07:54.59]But I definitely want to be a part of it! [07:58.59]Okay,you cannot do this to me. [08:02.73]You're right. I'm sorry. [08:05.20]Can we have three chocolate mousses to go? [08:10.30]I'm out of here. [08:13.64]Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. [08:17.41]I hope she throws up on you. [08:22.05]Thanks. [08:25.48]-So.... -Just us. [08:28.65]What a crappy night! [08:31.29]I have enjoyed the fact... [08:34.00]...that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper. [08:43.70]Excuse me. [08:48.24]How you doing? [08:54.88]So do we have the best friends, or what? [08:58.62]Joey's not a friend. He's... [09:03.00]...a stupid man who left us his credit card. [09:07.63]Another drink? Dessert? A big-screen TV? [09:11.63]-I'll have a drink. -Got it. Good woman! - [09:20.74]-A bottle of overpriced champagne. -Each. - [09:24.14]That's right,each. And a rob roy. [09:28.15]I've always wanted to know. [09:48.07]Happy Valentine's Day! [09:59.71]Oh,I miss you already. [10:03.81]-Can you believe this happened? -No,no! - [10:08.59]And yet it did. [10:11.16]-Goodbye,Janice. -kiss me! - [10:16.19]Oh,Chandler. Sorry. [10:18.60]Oh,Chandler. Sorry! [10:23.20]-Hey,Janice. -Hi,Monica. - [10:25.67]Well,this was very special. [10:29.91]Rach,come see who's out here! [10:33.14]What's going on? Oh,my God! [10:36.35]Janice! Hi! [10:38.92]Janice is gonna go away now! [10:43.59]I'll be right back. [10:46.79]Joey! Look who it is! [10:53.00]Good. Joey's home. [10:54.77]This is so much fun! [10:57.37]This is like a reunion in the hall! [11:02.57]Ross,there's someone I want you to say hi to. [11:08.01]He happened to call. [11:09.61]Hi,Ross. That's right,it's me! How did you know? [11:29.70]So,if dogs experience jet lag... [11:33.67]... because of the seven dog years to one human year thing... [11:38.21]...when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles... [11:41.78]... he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses a week and a half. [11:49.29]That's funny! [11:59.56]They should be cooking the food soon. [12:02.60]Oh,good. oh, [12:14.11]Who are they? [12:15.68]The blond is my ex-wife. The woman touching her is her... [12:21.55]...close,personal friend. [12:26.12]-They're lovers? -lf you want to put a label on it. - [12:33.63]-Anything else I should know? -Nope. That's it. - [12:38.04]Oh,and she's pregnant with my baby. [12:44.31]I always forget that part. [12:48.58]Hello! Hello! [12:56.15]Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine. [13:03.23]All I had is oregano and a Fresca. [13:06.63]That's okay! [13:12.70]Now we need the semen of a righteous man. [13:22.25]If we had that,we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. [13:27.92]-Can we start throwing things in? -Yeah,okay! - [13:35.19]Okay. Barry's letters. [13:38.13]Adam Ritter's boxer shorts. [13:49.11]-A picture of Scotty Jared naked! -Let me see! - [13:52.84]-He's wearing a sweater. -No. - [14:01.09]-Whose MCl card is that? -Mine. Shoot! [14:04.26]Remember this number: Nine,seven,four.... [14:10.39]Okay,and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa. [14:14.33]Wait,isn't it almost pure [14:21.21]How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day? [14:25.21]I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's. [14:29.35]In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush. [14:35.09]Hello,funny valentine! [14:38.69]Hi,just Janice. [14:41.39]Hello,Joey,our little matchmaker. [14:44.50]I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna. [14:52.74]If you don't do it,I will. [15:15.43]-So are you actually from New York? -Not originally. I'm from - [15:21.13]-You said they'd shoot it without you. -I thought they could. - [15:25.44]The maxi-pads were a piece of cake. Mini-pads should be that much easier. [15:31.54]-It's Valentine's Day. -I know,but it's my job. - [15:35.68]I'll try to get back as soon as I can. [15:39.12]I'm spending most of my time teaching science... [15:42.42]...which is funny because that wasn't even my major. [15:58.34]Now,that is funny! [16:03.64]Do you think it would be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? [16:09.15]Because she's alone now. And pregnant. And sad. [16:14.92]-I guess. -Are you sure? Carol! [16:19.06]-Wanna join us? -No,I'm fine. - [16:22.09]Come on. These people will scooch down. [16:26.50]You guys will scooch,won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on! [16:32.10]-Come on. -Thank you. [16:36.51]IKristen Riggs,this is Carol Willick. Carol,Kristen. [16:40.91]-How do you do? -Carol teaches sixth grade. - [16:45.08]And Kristen.... [16:50.69]IKristen does something... [16:54.56]...that,funnily enough... [16:58.13]...wasn't even her major! [17:03.67]-Thanks for coming over. -Not at all. It's pretty much our job. - [17:08.37]That's why we get the cool hats. [17:11.34]-What do we got there? -A piece of sik boxer shorts. - [17:19.22]A half-charred picture of.... [17:22.00]That guy's hairier than the chief! [17:28.06]It's a really funny story how this happened. [17:32.16]I was taking out the trash, and Phoebe was burning incense [17:37.67]It's all right. [17:39.24]This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire we've seen get out of control. [17:45.01]-Third one tonight. -Really? - [17:47.54]Valentine's is our busiest night of the year. [17:53.75]Next time you're burning your ex-boyfriend's stuff: [17:57.29]One,do it in a well-ventilated area. [18:00.39]Two,if you wanna burn his clothing, stay away from synthetic fabrics. [18:05.76]Three,try to let go of the anger, and learn to love yourself. [18:13.54]-I brought you something. -ls it loaded? - [18:20.84]Oh,little candy hearts. "Chan and Jan Forever." [18:27.52]I had them made special. [18:33.42]Okay,Janice. ok, [18:38.43]Hey,Janice. [18:42.83]There's no way to tell you this. [18:45.34]At least,there's no new way. [18:56.48]That's fine. [19:01.59]It is? It is? [19:03.62]Because I know that this isn't the end. [19:09.19]You see,actually,it is. [19:11.86]No,because you won't let that happen. [19:14.90]Don't you know it yet? [19:16.90]You love me,Chandler Bing! [19:24.04]Oh,no,I don't. [19:26.31]Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's,who invited who? [19:31.52]-Valentine's,who asked who into bed? -I did,but - [19:35.72]You seek me out! [19:37.49]Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! [19:42.73]Janice! Janice! [19:46.80]You push me away, you pull me back! [19:51.27]You want me. You need me. [19:54.04]You can't live without me. And you know it. [19:59.34]You just don't know you know it. [20:07.78]See? [20:15.69]Call me! [20:25.54]It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine. [20:29.81]You did so,I swear to [20:36.18]How long has she been in the bathroom? [20:39.52]She isn't in the bathroom. Her coat's gone. [20:42.92]Well,maybe it's cold in there. [20:47.42]I screwed up my first date in nine years. [20:50.86]-That could be it. -Oh,God. - [20:54.63]You know,this is still pretty hot. [21:01.74]Mushroom. [21:04.34]Smile. [21:06.61]They won't all be like this. Some might stay through dinner. [21:11.35]-I'm sorry. That's not funny. -It's just.... - [21:14.75]You know the whole "get on with your life" thing? [21:18.52]Well,do I have to? [21:21.02]I'm sitting here with this cute woman... [21:26.10]...and she's perfectly nice,but that... [21:31.57]...that's it. [21:33.74]Then I'm here talking to you, and it's easy and it's fun. [21:38.94]And I don't have to.... [21:41.78]-I know. -You know? [21:47.48]Here's a wacky thought. [21:50.82]Let's say you and I give it another shot. [21:54.69]I know what you're gonna say. You're a lesbian. [21:59.30]But what do you say we just put that aside for now. [22:04.40]Let's just stick a pin in it. [22:07.27]Because we're great together. You can't deny it. [22:13.54]I've got a ring at home that fits you. [22:17.68]I've got lots of pictures with both of us in them. [22:22.72]And best of all, you're carrying my baby. [22:27.12]-I mean,how perfect is that? -Ross - [22:30.00]You keep saying that,but there's something right here. I love you. [22:42.47]I love you too. [22:45.88]-But -No "but." - [22:49.51]You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? [22:55.69]It's time to take the pin out. [23:04.80]You'll find someone. The right woman is waiting for you. [23:14.30]All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. [23:21.41]Not her. [23:35.29]So,you guys really slide down a pole? [23:41.87]-Absolutely. -That's so cool. - [23:46.57]How do you get back up? [23:51.01]Well,we rarely have to return from a fire as quickly. [23:58.68]So,would you guys.... [24:01.52]Would you like to,sometime,maybe.... [24:06.59]Go for a drink sometime? [24:08.76]Sure,sounds good. [24:10.33]We get off at midnight. We'll pick you up then. [24:13.86]Okay. Great! [24:16.50]So will you bring the truck? [24:21.57]I'll even let you ring the bell. [24:24.37]-We'll see you later. -Bye! See you later! [24:29.38]Oh,my God! [24:31.82]See? There you go. The cleansing worked. [24:34.79]You're right. They're nice guys! [24:38.02]They're firemen guys! [24:42.06]-Tell them you're married? -No. My girlfriend doesn't even know. -